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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production in a country in two years.

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production in a country in two years.
The pie chart compares the multiple kinds of ( Coal, Nuclear, Petrol, Other) produced
energy
Use synonyms
 in a certain country over 2 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, Coal was the most popular
energy
Use synonyms
 production
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the Others were the least in 1995 and in 2005. In 1995, Coal, Gas and Petrol were
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar percentage with 29%.
Although
Linking Words
 they were following each other, Coal was the leading figure. Nuclear and Others were
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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under
the
Correct article usage
apply
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10% and accounted for the smallest group. In 2005, Coal remained
its
Change preposition
in its
show examples
 place and stayed as the leader with 30.93% and Gas was the second
energy
Use synonyms
 as it was.
However
Linking Words
, Petrol experienced a dramatic fall and
lose
Wrong verb form
lost
show examples
 10% (29.27-19.55)
In
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 the Other and Nuclear figures , there was a considerable change in terms of producing the
energy
Use synonyms
. Nuclear increased from 6.40% to 10.10% and Other rose sharply from 4.90% to 9.10%.
Dispate
Correct your spelling
Despite
 all these changes, all the categories remained stable in terms of their positions and stayed
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their starting point.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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