IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skill such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Nowadays, A
teenage
Replace the word
teenager
show examples
 has a lot of
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
 to choose what the job , dream and
futher
Correct your spelling
future
 is.In Hong Kong, the typical parenting style is to let their child
to fousing
Verb problem
focus
show examples
 on their studies, to
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 a doctor?
became
Fix capitalization
Became
show examples
 a lawyer?those
profestional
Correct your spelling
professionals
 or
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. But for those kid who has poor academic
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
, what
they can
Correct word order
can they
show examples
presue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 for their whole life? Children should explore and
experiene
Correct your spelling
experience
 more when they are unknown
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
 they can find their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 and the dream job they want to do.
when
Fix capitalization
When
show examples
 they start to try something new , that may not only
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
be
show examples
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 hobby, are
also
Linking Words
 a
skills
Fix the agreement mistake
skill
show examples
 that they have learnt.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example, when the students
loves
Correct subject-verb agreement
love
show examples
bakery
Correct article usage
the bakery
show examples
 and she/he want to
startup
Use the right word
start
show examples
 her/his own
bussinese
Correct your spelling
business
, the first thing they need to learnt isn't the
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 but the
pratical
Correct your spelling
practical
 process of how to make a good quality bread.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Then
show examples
then
Punctuation problem
then,
show examples
 to build
some
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
entrepreneur
Replace the word
entrepreneurial
show examples
 mindset , like doing video editing for promoting and try
learn
Verb problem
to learn
show examples
 how to analyse the market
though
Use the right word
through
show examples
 experience . These
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 are not easy to study
though
Use the right word
through
show examples
 the
leucter
Correct your spelling
lecturer
, so learning in
school
Use synonyms
 or by yourself should
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
focus on the thinking process , the training of the critical
thing
Use the right word
thinking
show examples
 that you have
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in your brain.
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
The school
show examples
 has a role to provide
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 for
stiudent
Correct your spelling
students
 to attend, because a student
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to stay at
school
Use synonyms
 5 days a week , which means the time that they have
meet
Verb problem
to meet
show examples
classmate
Fix the agreement mistake
classmates
show examples
 and teachers is much longer than their friends and parents.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are some
low income
Use the right word
low-income
show examples
 families ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have difficulties
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
, which means they
didnt got
Correct your spelling
don't
enough
Verb problem
have enough
show examples
 money to support their daily life, and how
they can
Correct word order
can they
show examples
 provide some extra activities for their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 to 'play' ?
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
,
Use synonyms
School
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should
taught
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 some basic
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for all of them to gain working and life
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.

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Task Response
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a clear view on the topic. Say your main answer and stick to it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simple links to join ideas. Put ideas in a clear order. Keep one idea in each paragraph.
Task Response
Some view of the role of school beyond tests.
Coherence
Gives real cases like baking and making a business as examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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