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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, the age
gap
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 between
parents
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 and their
children
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 has widened in many countries compared with previous generations.
While
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 some argue
this
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gap
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 may cause
communication
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 barriers, I believe its merits,
such
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 as more mature parenting and better material support, outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin
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 with, older
parents
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 tend to provide more mature and rational parenting, helping
children
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 develop sound values. Having experienced more life challenges and social practice, older
parents
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 are less likely to
impulsive
Verb problem
be impulsive
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 when educating
children
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. They can view
children
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’s
growth
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 problems from a comprehensive perspective and avoid extreme discipline methods.
For example
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, when a teenager conflicts with peers, older
parents
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 usually with peer, older
parents
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 usually guide the child to
analyze
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analyse
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 the cause of the conflict calmly, teach them to respect others’ perspectives, and find solutions, rather than
blaming
Correct word order
blindly blaming
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 the child
blindly
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apply
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like some young
parents
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.
Such
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 rational guidance helps
children
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 cultivate a positive attitude towards interpersonal relationships and improve their problem-solving abilities, laying a solid foundation for their future
growth
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.
Additionally
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, older
parents
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 often have a more stable economic condition, enabling them to provide
children
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 with
high quality
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high-quality
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 living and
education
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educational
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condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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. After years of career development, older
parents
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 usually have accumulated more savings,
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
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 income and wider social connections. They don’t need to worry too much about the pressure of making a living and can invest more energy and money in
children
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’s education and development. Take extracurricular training as an example. Older
parents
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 can afford professional tutoring, art courses or overseas study trips for their
children
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, helping them expand their horizons, develop hobbies and enhance comprehensive competitiveness.
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While young
Change preposition
Young
show examples
parents
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 with unstable economic conditions may struggle to meet
such
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 needs. Sufficient material support and
high quality
Use the right word
high-quality
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 resources create
better
Correct article usage
a better
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growth
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 environment for
children
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, helping them gain more development opportunities in the future. Admittedly, a large age
gap
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 in
growth
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 environment and life experience,
parents
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 and
children
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 may have different views on fashion, entertainment, career choices and other aspects. Older
parents
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 may not understand
children
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’s new ideas and lifestyles, and
children
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 may feel that their
parents
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 are outdated, resulting in reduced
communication
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 and even contradictions. In summary,
although
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 a large age
gap
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 between
parents
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 and
children
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 may cause certain
communication
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 problems, its advantages are more prominent
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 older
parents
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’ mature parenting helps
children
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 develop healthily, and stable material conditions provide
children
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 with high-quality
growth
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 resources. As long as both sides strengthen
communication
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, the negative impacts can be
minimized
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minimised
show examples
.
Therefore
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, the advantages of
this
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 trend outweigh the disadvantages.

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coherence
Use shorter, simple sentences. Break long ideas into two smaller sentences to aid clarity.
cohesion
Put a clear idea at the start of each paragraph and end with a short line to link ideas.
task
Add a brief view that goes against your main point, then restate your view to show balance.
grammar
Check for small grammar errors and keep to simple word order.
content
Clear view on the issue.
development
Useful examples about money and study to back points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • age gap
  • financial stability
  • educational opportunities
  • maturity
  • experience
  • patience
  • health issues
  • generational disconnect
  • relate
  • economic support
  • fertility treatments
  • physical activities
  • independence
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