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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The rapid growth of technology has led to privacy and security issues. What are the problems, and how can they be solved?

In recent years, technology has been growing exponentially. Despite being a beneficial tool in everyday life, technology is portrayed as a double-edged sword
due to
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 the rising concerns regarding its intrusion into privacy and
security
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. Digital divide and increasing
cyber
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crimes
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 can be attributed as the major reasons
to
Change preposition
for
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this
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.
This
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 essay discusses these reasons in detail and viable measures to restore
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cyber
Use the right word
cybersecurity
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security
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. One of the key reasons for
violation
Correct article usage
the violation
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 of personal
data
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 and
security
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 is the existence of
digital
Correct article usage
a digital
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 divide in society - a visible separation
among
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between
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 the tech-savvy and the tech-illiterate.
Consequently
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, a technically up-to-date individual can easily lure a technically ignorant person into his trap.
For instance
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, there has been an increased number of online frauds, especially against the elderly, where they are falling into financial
scams
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scams,
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 as they are behind the times.
Furthermore
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, a significant surge can be noticed in the rate of
cyber
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crimes
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 being reported annually. With the development of cutting-edge technologies, the number of technological prodigies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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also
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 climbing simultaneously.
However
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, not all of them are ethically driven. Many of them drift into
short cuts
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shortcuts
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 and ultimately
,
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apply
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 practice criminal activities. The digital
expliotation
Correct your spelling
exploitation
 can be prevented by formulating strict regulations and ensuring continuous surveillance by the government. A special executive branch can be made in charge
to deal
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of dealing
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 with
cyber
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crimes
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, which in turn can lower the incidence of
cyber
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crimes
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. Meanwhile, individuals can protect their
data
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 by enhancing their
data
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security
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 through features
such
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 as password protection.
For example
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,
Whatsapp
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WhatsApp
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 has enabled
a
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apply
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double-password encryption to protect
their
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its
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users
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users'
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data
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.
Similarly
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, people can change their passwords frequently to strengthen their privacy. In conclusion, though privacy and
security
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 can be at stake with technical advancements, these issues can be mitigated through establishing stringent laws and
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cyber
Use the right word
cybersecurity
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security
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 infrastructure by the government.
In addition
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, by creating a state-of-the-art society
,
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apply
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 who are digitally cautious,
can
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individuals can
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 limit
individual
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apply
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exploitation.

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planning
In the intro, show your view clearly and say what you will talk about.
structure
In each body paragraph, have one main idea and give one simple example.
content
Give more real and simple examples; avoid vague talk.
language
Fix mistakes in spell and form, and keep sentence form easy.
structure
Clear plan of intro, body, and conclusion.
content
The topic of tech and privacy is kept through the text.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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