IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

You are a high school teacher. A student of yours has just graduated with excellent marks from high school. This person wants to find work. Write an email to this student in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things: Explain how you feel about her high school grades. Explain why a college education is good. Explain why going to work instead of college is unwise.

Dear Helen, I am writing to express my pride
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your
last
Linking Words
 achievement, high school graduation, and your future
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
 as a young adult.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I would like to highlight my feelings regarding your excellent performance during your school journey. Your commitment, level of responsibility, and grades were remarkable through the years, and I feel very proud to be part of your distinguished path. Achieving the best student award is just a small piece of your upcoming successful future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, allow me to point out the
long-terms
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 benefits of going to college. Studying a secondary degree will boost your profile in several aspects
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 educational growth, networking, and professional skills.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
collages
Use the right word
colleges
show examples
 are suitable places to find good sponsors since those people are always looking for clever and unique students like you.
Lastly
Linking Words
, let me explain why performing a second degree will be a wiser decision than working. In terms of
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
 market, people with higher education are more competitive and get better salaries.
Also
Linking Words
, if you are looking for an earning potential opportunity like being a senior
manager
Punctuation problem
manager,
show examples
 you must carry
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 secondary diploma. I wish you all the best in your new pathway. Regards, Mrs Kim Lee

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strength
Your tone is warm and polite, which is good for a letter. Keep that tone in all parts.
improvement
Make each paragraph have one clear main idea and add more detail to back it up.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling errors: collages -> colleges; 'secondary degree' -> 'college degree'; fix awkward phrases.
content
Use simple, concrete examples to show why college helps, and give a simple view of work choices to back up your point.
tone
Polite and encouraging style that suits the audience.
structure
Clear structure with a greeting and closing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pride
  • excellent marks
  • college education
  • opportunities
  • career prospects
  • earning potential
  • competitive nature
  • job market
  • advantage
  • personal development
  • networking
  • real-world experience
  • unwise
  • graduate
  • commitment
  • investment
  • skills
  • knowledge
What to do next:
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