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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students today graduate high school and want to continue their studies in another country. Give the advantages and disadvantages of studying overseas.

Education today is very different from the past, and that includes studying in other
countries
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.
Students
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 nowadays want to continue their studies abroad.
This
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 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of studying overseas. On the one hand, there are many advantages of studying in other
countries
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.
First,
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students
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 will learn new skills and responsibilities.
For
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example
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, they will learn how to make their own food and how to live alone without their parents.
Also
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, they will do their homework and learn how to take care of themselves.
Second,
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they will learn about new cultures and languages.
For
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example
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,
students
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 will meet new people from different
countries
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 and will learn about their cultures.
Moreover
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, they will meet and share their experiences, language, and traditions with each other.
Finally
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, the most significant advantage is the education. Colleges in other
countries
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 offer many benefits, especially in terms of qualified instructors.
Also
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, many colleges offer high-quality education for
students
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.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages of studying overseas.
First,
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a negative aspect is that
students
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 might feel lonely.
For
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example
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,
instead
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 of a busy social life, they might struggle to make new friends.
Also
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,
students
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 will miss their family
,
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apply
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 and family gatherings.
Second,
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it might be expensive for
students
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.
For
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example
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, university housing and tuition are expensive.
Furthermore
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, food and entertainment activities can be difficult for a student to afford.
Finally
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, most
students
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 will feel homesick.
For instance
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, they will miss their parents
,
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apply
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 and everybody else. When
this
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 happens, they may be unable to study well and may become depressed. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 there are many disadvantages of studying overseas.
For
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example
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, it might be expensive, and many
students
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 will feel homesick.
However
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, there are
also
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 many advantages to studying abroad.

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task response
Task response: The essay tries to cover both sides and has a short conclusion. It needs a clearer view and more strong, exact points. Add a clear answer to the question and give more exact, real examples for each point.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a simple build with intro, body and end. It uses some linking, but the links are not strong. Make each paragraph have one main idea and use clear links between ideas. Use more simple connectors like also, but, and, however, and then.
strength
Clear structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
strength
Uses examples to show points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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