Some people believe that only the most outstanding students should be rewarded. Other, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people argue that rewards should be reserved for the highest-achieving

students

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

argue that

recognizing

Change the spelling

recognising

show examples

learners who demonstrate

continues

Replace the word

continuous

show examples

improvement is far more beneficial. As far as I’m

concerned

Punctuation problem

concerned,

show examples

I partly agree that successful

students

Use synonyms

should be

prioritized

Change the spelling

prioritised

show examples

in the allocation of rewards. On the one hand, some individuals take the view that rewards should be given solely to top-performing learners, as high achievement deserves recognition. When

students

Use synonyms

reach to scores or demonstrate remarkable academic performance,

such

Linking Words

appreciation shows that their hard work is genuinely valued.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

some educators, rewarding top performers creates a healthy competitive environment, which encourages other learners to improve

theirs

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own performance.

Therefore

Linking Words

, supporters of

this

Linking Words

view argue that

recognizing

Change the spelling

recognising

show examples

outstanding

students

Use synonyms

reinforces their efforts.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people believe that rewarding

students

Use synonyms

show

Correct pronoun usage

who show

show examples

improvement is more meaningful.

This

Linking Words

is because not every student can get the highest grade, but many of them work regularly and make progress. When these

students

Use synonyms

are appreciated, it shows that their effort is valuable

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

it increases their motivation.

In addition

Linking Words

, rewarding improvement stops

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

from giving up and helps them develop a more positive attitude towards studying. Taking all the

above

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

above-mentioned judgments into consideration, encouraging progress is more beneficial in the long term, as it helps

students

Use synonyms

stay motivated and continue their learning journey.

kumsalsyn

Nov 17, 2025

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language

Fix many grammar errors and wrong word form. Use short, clear sentences.

task response

Make your main idea clear. Say your view in a simple line and give a clear reason for it.

coherence

Link ideas with small links. Do not repeat same phrases and avoid odd phrases like 'above above-mentioned'.

vocabulary

Use only common words. Keep ideas easy to read.

task response

The essay shows both sides of the topic.

coherence

There is a clear plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.

content

The writer tries to explain why improvement can help motivation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

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