Some people believe that only the most outstanding students should be rewarded. Other, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people argue that rewards should be reserved for the highest-achieving
students
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,
whereas
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
argue that
recognizing
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recognising
show examples
learners who demonstrate
continues
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continuous
show examples
improvement is far more beneficial. As far as I’m
concerned
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concerned,
show examples
I partly agree that successful
students
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should be
prioritized
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prioritised
show examples
in the allocation of rewards. On the one hand, some individuals take the view that rewards should be given solely to top-performing learners, as high achievement deserves recognition. When
students
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reach to scores or demonstrate remarkable academic performance,
such
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appreciation shows that their hard work is genuinely valued.
For example
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,
according to
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some educators, rewarding top performers creates a healthy competitive environment, which encourages other learners to improve
theirs
Correct pronoun usage
their
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own performance.
Therefore
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, supporters of
this
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view argue that
recognizing
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recognising
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outstanding
students
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reinforces their efforts.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that rewarding
students
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show
Correct pronoun usage
who show
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improvement is more meaningful.
This
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is because not every student can get the highest grade, but many of them work regularly and make progress. When these
students
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are appreciated, it shows that their effort is valuable
and
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, and
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it increases their motivation.
In addition
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, rewarding improvement stops
student
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students
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from giving up and helps them develop a more positive attitude towards studying. Taking all the
above
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apply
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above-mentioned judgments into consideration, encouraging progress is more beneficial in the long term, as it helps
students
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stay motivated and continue their learning journey.

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language
Fix many grammar errors and wrong word form. Use short, clear sentences.
task response
Make your main idea clear. Say your view in a simple line and give a clear reason for it.
coherence
Link ideas with small links. Do not repeat same phrases and avoid odd phrases like 'above above-mentioned'.
vocabulary
Use only common words. Keep ideas easy to read.
task response
The essay shows both sides of the topic.
coherence
There is a clear plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
The writer tries to explain why improvement can help motivation.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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