IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

After leaving the walls of prison, it can be hard for
ex convicted
Use the right word
ex-convicts
show examples
 to adapt back to society.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they often return to their previous marginal lifestyle and end up in
jails
Fix the agreement mistake
jail
show examples
 again.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and possible solutions.
People
Use synonyms
 outside
mostly
Verb problem
are mostly
show examples
 very biased towards
ex prisoners
Use the right word
ex-prisoners
show examples
. Society
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 that they may be dangerous, and so should be avoided. But,
controversally
Correct your spelling
controversially
,
this
Linking Words
 is happens to be the main reason released ones can not fit in.
For instance
Linking Words
, employers often do not even consider them as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
possible workers, not giving them
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to try.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they either can not find any job at all or have to work for a salary so low
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that it can't provide
quality
Correct article usage
a quality
show examples
 life. So,
ex prisoners
Use the right word
ex-prisoners
show examples
 tend to re-offend, because they used to live in
jais
Correct your spelling
jails
 and surrounded by
people
Use synonyms
im
Correct your spelling
in
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 situation. Special measurements should be provided to
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
people
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
adapt to a new life outside the prison.
For example
Linking Words
 government could create special programmes
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them, which will include sessions with
psycologists
Correct your spelling
psychologists
, volunteers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 will teach them how to communicate socially approved way again.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 programmes could include special benefits for them to find
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
easier
Correct word choice
more easily
show examples
, and
also
Linking Words
 include
coursers
Use the right word
courses
show examples
 to learn new skills that will help them
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 more effectively. In conclusion,
ex criminals
Use the right word
ex-criminals
show examples
 should receive help from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 that will
restyle
Verb problem
restructure
show examples
 their way of living.
This
Linking Words
 is necessary for both sides, as for criminals
this
Linking Words
 is a chance for
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
show examples
 life, and for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will reduce
toll
Correct article usage
the toll
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 could possibly commit a crime

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structure
Plan your essay first with a clear plan: a short intro, two body ideas, and a closing line.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar mistakes so the text is easy to read.
coherence
Use simple links to join ideas, like first, also, but, so, therefore.
content
Give one clear example for each point to back up your claim.
style
Keep life words short and simple to fit the task.
structure
The writer tries to answer the task and gives a idea of the problem and a way to help.
content
There is an effort to have an intro, a body, and a end.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • social stigma
  • vocational training
  • economic desperation
  • mental health support
  • institutionalization
  • peer influence
  • mentorship programs
  • crime cycle
  • societal inclusion
  • job readiness programs
  • re-offending
  • ex-offenders
What to do next:
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