IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People often believe that great musicians, sports stars and artists are born not made. Do you agree that we are born with much of our ability, or are there other factors that can make us good sports people or musicians?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, becoming popular is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most wide-ranging issues, especially among the new generation.
While
Linking Words
 some opine
talent
Correct word choice
that talent
show examples
 is what genetics is all about, in my view, underestimating the importance of hard work in progressing is not logical. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, the fact that the gene pool is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most effective factors in guiding people toward specific talents is obvious to all.
For example
Linking Words
, some people have impressive features from the earliest years of their lives,
such
Linking Words
 as a good voice, natural power, and even a spirit of teamwork, which makes a valuable contribution to making them superior to their rivals.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can achieve their desired goals in a short period of time compared to others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, consistent hard work is a must in the world of success. So seriously has becoming successful affected a large number of people’s minds
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 strongly believe that consistency is what turning their dreams into reality is all about.
For instance
Linking Words
, Cristiano Ronaldo is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most well-known examples in
this
Linking Words
 case. He always says
to
Correct word choice
that to
show examples
 achieve
such
Linking Words
 a title in the world of soccer, he had to work out for long hours from his childhood.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the environment goes a long way. For those who are living in a remote village, if they have a natural ability in any field, but they do not have access to modern facilities, they cannot shape their future in a better way, even if they are full of talent. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 natural ability is too important to be ignored, I believe
to
Correct word choice
that to
show examples
 become a talented person, we should
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
 diligent habits and environment over other factors.

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task response
Make your main idea clear in the first line. Say you think born skill or work has more pull and why.
task response
Add two or more reasons and another clear example besides Ronaldo to show more effort and variety.
coherence
Use link words well. Keep ideas in a smooth line with words like also, but, and, then.
grammar
Shorten long sentences. Break ideas into small lines so the reader can follow.
lexical
Use easy word choice. Avoid hard or long words.
task response
You give a clear view and conclusion.
coherence
You use on the one hand / on the other hand to show both sides.
content
You give a real life example that back up your point.
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