IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some cities and towns all over the world, traffic jams are a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 has become a global issue in many countries. There are several reasons why
this
Linking Words
 is happening. As far as I am concerned, the root cause of the issue is the high volume of vehicles, I mean, too many cars for the road capacity. And
also
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 poor
infrasture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
, narrow roads, and poorly designed intersections can be another reason.
Moreover
Linking Words
, accidents and breakdowns or any sudden stop disrupt the
traffic
Use synonyms
 flow
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, these factors can cause heavy
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a minor fender-bender on the highway blocks multiple lanes, and
also
Linking Words
 at 8 AM when everyone tries to drive to work at the same time. They have a direct effect on causing
traffic
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congestion
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. It has been said that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the issues have the potential to be controlled by multiple tasks from the government and citizens,
invest
Correct pronoun usage
who invest
show examples
 in public transport in order to develop a fast, reliable, and affordable system.
In addition
Linking Words
, upgrade
infrastructure
Correct article usage
the infrastructure
show examples
. By
this
Linking Words
 I mean
thatwe
Correct your spelling
that
, build more highways and flyovers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the government can implement intelligent
traffic
Use synonyms
 lights and routine apps. In conclusion, urban
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
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 is a complex phenomenon
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, the problem is not unsolvable. A sustainable solution line for smart investment in public transport, using modern technology for
traffic
Use synonyms
 management.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there are many factors that cause heavy
traffic
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, there are efficient solutions to reduce or control it.

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improvement
Add more solid points for causes and fixes. Give 2-3 clear examples for each.
tip
Add a short plan sentence in the intro so the reader knows what you will say.
improvement
Give specific examples of how to fix traffic, not only big ideas.
tip
Fix key grammar: e.g. infrasture -> infrastructure, thatwe -> that we, watch spelling and form in 8 AM.
tip
Keep sentences short and clear, use simple words only.
improvement
Make the link from cause to fix clear in each paragraph.
structure
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
cohesion
It uses linking words like 'Moreover' and 'In addition'.
content
There is a direct example of a jam from a small crash.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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