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Writing Samples
Band 8

The bar graph shows the average hours of daily sunshine throughout the year in two cities of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar graph shows the average hours of daily sunshine throughout the year in two cities of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The bar graph illustrates the entire years average daily
sunshine
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 from january to december in two cities of Australia,
sydney
Use synonyms
 and
perth
Use synonyms
.
overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that
perth
Use synonyms
 had longest
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 during first and
last
Linking Words
 three months of year,
while
Linking Words
sydney
Use synonyms
 accounted for least
hours
Use synonyms
. By looking into more details in january, sydey allocated for 8
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
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, and
perth
Use synonyms
 about 11
hours
Use synonyms
, from february to april there was just above 8hours of constant natural light in
sydney
Use synonyms
, but in
perth
Use synonyms
 it was 10 hoursin february and about 9and7 hour in march and april respectively.
However
Linking Words
 in the month of may june and july both cities accounted for same hoours of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 around six
hours
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, later the number of
hours
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 increased gradually in
perth
Use synonyms
 from august to december from about 5
hours
Use synonyms
 to around 11
hours
Use synonyms
.meanwhile it remained same in
sydney
Use synonyms
 to exactly 8
hours
Use synonyms
 from august to december.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sunshine, hours, sydney, perth with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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