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Writing Samples
Band 4

Throughout history, male leaders always lead us to violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders, it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people said a peaceful society could only happen if a woman were in charge. That opinion is formed because history has shown us that warfare and conflict are mostly led by male
leaders
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. In that regard,
i
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I
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 would disagree with the statement.
Firstly
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, there was no example of a situation with a female leader from which people could make comparisons to historical facts. Gender equality was only present in
the
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apply
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recent decades, so throughout history, because of patriarchy, which made it impossible for women to be
leaders
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 in a family, let alone in a country, we
only have
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have only
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male
Verb problem
had male
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leaders
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. We had only known men like Hitler and Napoleon Bonaparte
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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 led their hunger for power to
war
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.
Secondly
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, those
conficts
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conflicts
 ended when the world
leaders
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 chose diplomacy rather than violence.
For example
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, World
War
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 2 came to an end because of many conferences which involved world
leaders
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. From these meetings, organisations
such
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 as the United Nations and ASEAN were formed so that international affairs can be resolved without the need to go to
war
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. All of these happened when the majority
leaders
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 were still male.
On the other hand
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, through nature, female tends to think that peace must come first in every matter they have. Woman tends to have a softer character and do not like physical conflict. Especially, in the old days, it was them who suffered from great losses because they got left behind by their husband to went to
war
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. Throughout many situations, women focus on good communication when finding a resolution. So it must show in situations when they lead some nations. But, there is still no proof whether the violence would still happen
eventhough
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even though
woman
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a woman
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 is in the lead. In conclusion,
i
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I
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 think violence and conflict throughout history have been judged only because the
leaders
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 are male. Peace and resolution do not come because of the gender, but from a leader who focuses on the best for their country

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planning
Your view is clear, but the main ideas are not very well shown in each part. Make a simple map before you write.
structure
Write a short intro that rest the prompt and say what you think. Then give two or three points with a small fact or example. End with a short end.
coherence
Link ideas with small glue words then show how each idea supports your view. Use easy words like first, also, but, so, because, for example.
content
You take a clear stand against the claim.
examples
You give real moments from history as examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender dynamics
  • militaristic policies
  • expansionist
  • diplomatic governance
  • risk-taking
  • societal norms
  • inclusive approach
  • collaborative governance
  • gender stereotypes
  • individual qualities
  • comprehensive approach
  • conflict resolution
  • aggression
  • historical context
  • colonial expansion
  • contemporary
  • male dominance
  • innate differences
  • peaceful governance
  • competitive strategies
What to do next:
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