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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the income and expenditure of Harckley Hall, a public place for hiring over the period of three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the income and expenditure of Harckley Hall, a public place for hiring over the period of three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table below illustrates the revenue and outcome of Harckley Hall, a public area for recruiting
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 three
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, all of the groups were higher in the
second
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
. The rest of
Use synonyms
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 presented a similar amount. The revenue of the hiring room in the
second
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 had the highest income compared to
another
Use the right word
the other
show examples
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it had a slight decline in the next
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the income in the third
year
Use synonyms
 was lower than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 first
year
Use synonyms
. The spending in the
second
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 was 74000 pounds, which was larger than the remaining
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the gap between the first and the
second
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 was massive, by 8000 pounds. In terms of total earnings, the
second
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 was the largest class. Undoubtedly, the amount of
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 wasn’t higher than the
second
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the profit had a different trend. The return of the first
year
Use synonyms
 was the highest class, and
then
Linking Words
 dropped over the past
years
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, second, year, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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