IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates how much
funds
Replace the word
funding
show examples
 was spent on different consumer products in Germany, Italy, France and Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
, by briefly glancing at
this
Linking Words
 diagram
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 expense of toys and
photographs
Replace the word
photographic
show examples
film
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the highest spending
than on
Change preposition
among
show examples
any
Correct determiner usage
all
show examples
 other goods.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the statistics of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Britain
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the biggest
spenders
Fix the agreement mistake
spender
show examples
 in each
categories
Fix the agreement mistake
category
show examples
 among the countries compared in the bar chart.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
German
Replace the word
Germany
show examples
 was responsible for the lowest spending among the countries. In Britain, the largest sum of money was spent on photographic
film
Use synonyms
, at 170 million pounds,
while
Linking Words
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of money spent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal stereos and tennis racquets
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in the database. The French is the second highest
spending
Replace the word
spender
show examples
 compared to the other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
. Especially, on CDs, toys and photographic
film
Use synonyms
, at 155, 155 ,and 165 ,respectively. The
Italian
Replace the word
Italians
show examples
 cost more money on toys and
photographs
Check wording
apply
show examples
film
Use synonyms
, at around 150
pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. Eventually, Germans
cost
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 the lowest
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 each consumer
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
show examples
, each of the categories having similar spending figures for all six products in the diagram.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words film with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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