IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 retain
knowledge
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in the past,
books
Use synonyms
 were a source for saving
knowledge
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 shift offers some
disadvantages
Use synonyms
, I believe that the advantages significantly outweigh the downsides because of convenience.
While
Linking Words
 there might be several drawbacks of storing
knowledge
Use synonyms
 in
books
Use synonyms
, one of the main
disadvantages
Use synonyms
for
Verb problem
is for
show examples
 readers. To be clear, when individuals do not read information from a book, they will struggle to stay focused
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because of distractions.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many notifications, messages from friends and similar things.
Additionally
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, preserving
knowledge
Use synonyms
 in
books
Use synonyms
 is a traditional method, and it should not be easily forgotten since it saves language, culture and
also
Linking Words
 tradition.
Thus
Linking Words
, for these reasons,
knowledge
Use synonyms
 should be kept in
books
Use synonyms
, not on the
internet
Use synonyms
. Despite these
disadvantages
Use synonyms
, the benefits of the
internet
Use synonyms
 are significant. First of all, with the help of the
internet
Use synonyms
,
knowledge
Use synonyms
 can be saved for a long time. It is unlikely
disappear
Verb problem
to disappear
show examples
 or be deleted, as many years ago, ancient
books
Use synonyms
 were lost.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it offers convenience to
people
Use synonyms
 because it is a source where
people
Use synonyms
 can store a vast amount of
knowledge
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Google
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the most popular website where
people
Use synonyms
 can access PDFs, bibliographies, facts and other resources.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will be highly beneficial
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is preserved on the
internet
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there are drawbacks of preserving
knowledge
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
, as
people
Use synonyms
 can lose their focus, the advantages overshadow the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
, as it is convenient
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 cannot be lost.

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Task Response
Give one clear view in the opening. Then write two body parts that explain the two sides, with one idea in each paragraph. End with a short note that restates your view.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a steady flow. Use sign words like First, Next, Also, But, Therefore to keep link in the essay. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and a cleat link to the next part.
Language
Watch small grammar faults. Check that every sentence has a verb and a subject. Use simple, clear sentences. Avoid long lines that mix ideas.
Task approach
The writer tries to show both sides and gives a final view.
Conclusion
Conclusion sums up the main point.
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