IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that exploiting animals by humans unethical. However, another group of people think that to satisfy needs such as food & research is acceptable Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is an ongoing debate about the over-use of
animals
Use synonyms
 for
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
 human
purpouses
Correct your spelling
purposes
, like food or research. Some people believe that
this
Linking Words
 has been needed for the
advance
Replace the word
advancement
show examples
 in society, some others argue that it is unethical. In my point
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
, the use of
animals
Use synonyms
 as part of the research programs
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 has allowed the discovery of medical devices, the
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 of pharmaceutical industries and the rise in scientific knowledge;
aditionally
Correct your spelling
additionally
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 incorporation of
animal´s
Check wording
animal
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 protein in
human´s
Check wording
humans´
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 diet
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
enableled
Correct your spelling
enabled
 our predecessors to evolve in
may
Use the right word
many
show examples
 aspects.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 the science
also
Linking Words
demonstrared
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 that
animals
Use synonyms
 have sensations and feel pain, so I strongly believe that we could find a balance to use
animals
Use synonyms
 in
humans
Check wording
humans'
show examples
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
, without hurting them. On one hand, it is essential to recognise the importance of science in our daily life
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 without understanding our behaviour and the way that we act, it
could
Use the right word
would
show examples
 not be possible to have the
progression
Replace the word
progress
show examples
 that we have right now.
Above all
Linking Words
,
animal´s
Check wording
animal
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 experiments permitted us to practice and understand
this
Linking Words
 topic much better.
For example
Linking Words
,
mouses
Fix the agreement mistake
mice
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been an important animal model to
undestand
Correct your spelling
understand
 the brain and
it´s
Use the right word
its
show examples
conections
Correct your spelling
connections
, because they share similarities in human anatomical structure and brain pathways; without it,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
neuroscience could not improve the form that they have
do
Wrong verb form
done
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 age.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 I agree that sometimes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans
acts
Correct subject-verb agreement
act
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 like a mammal with no empathy or
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
live
Correct word choice
living
show examples
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. People strongly believe that we are the kings and queens in the
echosystem
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
, and we can do whatever we want, but
this
Linking Words
 should not be in
this
Linking Words
 way. With judgment and reason as a characteristic of our group, humans can create new technologies or experiments that do not hurt
animals
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and cause them pain. And if for some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 they are suffering in the process is our obligation
protect
Verb problem
to protect
show examples
 them, and stop what we
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 doing. In conclusion, certainly I think that everything
it´s
Verb problem
is
show examples
 about balance. Finding
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way
of
Change preposition
to
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 create machines or research with
animals
Use synonyms
 that do not injure them could be the best solution.

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task response
Plan your essay first. Say what you will talk about and then write it in a clear order.
coherence
Make one clear point in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and finish with a short idea.
coherence
Use simple and correct links to show how ideas are tied.
language
Give stronger, more exact examples to back your points.
language
Check spelling and grammar to avoid big mistakes that slow readers.
task response
You try to discuss both sides and give your own view.
structure
There is a plan to end with balance, which is a good aim for this topic.
ideas
You touch on ethics, which is a good idea for this topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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