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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below provides information on the number of students from the US, UK and Australia who studied in other countries between 2002 and 2007

The graph below provides information on the number of students from the US, UK and Australia who studied in other countries between 2002 and 2007
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 the podcast
why
Punctuation problem
, why
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 cavities in
teeth
Use synonyms
 are still an issue for us. Not too long after the
birth
Punctuation problem
birth,
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 the microbes , and we usually pick them up from other people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 almost always it is from our mums since they are the closest.
WHen
Fix capitalization
When
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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teeth
Use synonyms
 start to erupt , they begin to accumulate the communities of bacteria.And depending
what
Change preposition
on what
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 our diet is, specifically how much sugar we consume,
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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certain types of
bacterias
Fix the agreement mistake
bacteria
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 start to overpopulate
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 causes cavities.As they consume sugar they create acid and our
teeth
Use synonyms
 are vulnerably against them, yes we have an enamel layer in
teeth
Use synonyms
 but for acid
this
Linking Words
 layer is not a big deal.during the expansion of bacteria in the first stage of tooth is not painful,
however
Linking Words
, once it reaches nerves it is noticeably painful and without treatment the risks of the infection of whole
teeth
Use synonyms
 is guaranteed.so the sugar in our diet should be limited.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words teeth with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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