IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

By the graphs,
compares
Replace the word
comparisons
show examples
 and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
we
Punctuation problem
, we
show examples
 all know that in many countries we have
differents
Use the right word
differences
show examples
 between
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
time
Check wording
expectancy
show examples
 and ageing. Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people can say
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
goverments
Correct your spelling
government
 problems or society benefits, and both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sides will be right.
Humans
Check wording
The human
show examples
 body gets
more olderly
Correct word choice
older
show examples
 because of
Use synonyms
life
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
style
Use synonyms
 or
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 where they live. And humans can look older or pass away earlier than in other
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. Because all different
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 have different
Use synonyms
life
Use the right word
lifestyles
show examples
style
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 in
Nounth
Correct your spelling
North
Use synonyms
Korea
Punctuation problem
Korea,
show examples
 we can see that people look
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
younger than
they’re
Use the right word
their
show examples
 age, because
Korea
Use synonyms
 is popular with
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
beuty
Correct your spelling
beauty
 products, ecology and healthy
Use synonyms
life
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
style
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 if
compare
Correct pronoun usage
we compare
show examples
Korea
Use synonyms
 with other
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 like
Kazakhstan
Punctuation problem
Kazakhstan,
show examples
if
Use the right word
it
show examples
 seems that in
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
 men or women can look old or
average
Punctuation problem
average,
show examples
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their age. And the reason is pollution, dirty water or air, and in Kazakhstan
Punctuation problem
, selfcare
show examples
selfcare
Correct your spelling
self-care
 products
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
popular
Rephrase
as popular
show examples
 as in
Korea
Use synonyms
. And
also
Linking Words
 sport and food habits can
chance
Use the right word
change
show examples
Correct article usage
the humans
show examples
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 body too. Looking younger or older is not something really important
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
live’s
Replace the word
life’s
show examples
 time. Because if we compare
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
show examples
 and clean
country
Use synonyms
 with other
more poor
Correct word choice
poorer
show examples
 and dirtier
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
 we could see a difference. So to live longer or look
younger
Punctuation problem
younger,
show examples
 you should have a healthy
Use synonyms
life
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
style
Use synonyms
 with
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 your living
country
Use synonyms
 could be important too. But in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it feels like ageing is not giving really problems to
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 or something else. It feels like
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 more about people's wish to live longer.

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structure
Plan your answer in three parts: a short view, two main ideas, and a simple end.
task
Make your view clear in the first line. Then give a few reasons and a small example.
task
Keep ideas on the topic. Do not add parts that do not fit the question.
cohesion
Link ideas with short words like but, and, also, then to join sentences.
content
Use simple facts or common life facts as evidence.
content
The writer tries to talk about life style and how it can affect aging.
content
Some attempt is shown to compare sides of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
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