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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The increasing reliance on online communication has led to a decline in face-to-face interactions, particularly among young people. What problems does this pose, and what solutions can be implemented to encourage more in-person social engagement?

In the modern technology era, especially young people's dependence on online platforms for communication is accelerating day by day, which leads to a decline in direct conversation.
This
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 essay will first suggest some problems and
then
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 discuss some refined solutions. The first issue is related to social isolation and loneliness. Mostly, nowadays young people are
introverts
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introverted
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, they do not prefer to socialise,
therefore
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 they lose confidence and their effective communication skills become vulnerable. The second vital issue is associated with mental health. Generally, a person cannot express his profound emotions with his friends and family on-screen
,
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;
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sometimes
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sometimes,
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 it becomes
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
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 for depression and loneliness, which causes negative impacts on a person's physical and mental health. The USA is a prime example, 40% of male and female youngsters have psychological issues, but they do not share their sad emotions with their online international friends. Despite some problems, there are diverse crucial solutions to overcome these issues.The foremost solution is participation in outdoor activities. The social isolation can be reduced by participating in physical activities like sports with families and peers.
Furthermore
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, a person should join clubs or groups, which will help him build new relationships and will
also
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 elevate his
connection
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communication
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 skills. The second possible solution is a proper technology-free time schedule. Particularly, during dinner time, try to chat with parents and siblings without smartphones.
In addition
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, we should encourage open conversations about the potential downside of too much screen exposure.
For instance
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, in Africa, some parents keep
down
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apply
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their children's mobile phones
in
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down in
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 exchange for food during meal time. In conclusion, online conversation is causing serious problems in youngsters' lives by decreasing confidence,reducing verbal communication skills, and causing serious health concerns, but some solutions can overcome these factors. These are joining
of
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apply
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sports groups and the formation of a proper timetable for screen usage.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear start, middle, and end. Say your view in the intro, list two problems, then two solutions, and finish with a short conclusion.
content
Give more clear details for each point. Describe how online talk affects life, who is hurt, where it happens.
language
Use only simple words and short sentences. Avoid hard or long phrases.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, and, but, for example, to make the flow smooth.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence form. Watch plural forms, verb tense, and punctuation.
facts
If you use numbers, keep them simple and true. Do not rely on hard or wrong stats.
content
The essay shows a clear focus on the issue of online talk affecting young people.
content
It gives two problems and two possible solutions.
structure
There is an effort to end with a conclusion.
content
Some attempts to give examples are present.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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