IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the gragh below shows the number of universitiy graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

This
Linking Words
 graph demonstrates the number of men and
women
Use synonyms
 who graduated from 1992 to 2007 in Canada. In 2001,
both
Use synonyms
 men and
women
Use synonyms
 started to grow rapidly. Simultaneously, they hit their peak in 2007, accounting for 96,000 and 148,500.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, before 2001, they
also
Linking Words
 shared the same trend, keeping
both
Use synonyms
 of their records below 75,000 and 106,000.
Although
Linking Words
both
Use synonyms
 groups share the same trend,
women
Use synonyms
's growth from 2000-2006 is larger, which makes a bigger gap between them
at the end
Linking Words
 of the chart.
Also
Linking Words
, before
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 they did not exactly match
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same movement, but the difference was below 2000 people in each year. Meanwhile, in 2006, men still had approximately 2,000 fewer graduates than the lowest number of
women
Use synonyms
 in the whole chart, which was in 1992.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see the highest proportion of graduates to be
women
Use synonyms
 over the whole time period.
In addition
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 of them have their lowest measurement in 1992 and their highest in 2007.

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structure
Start with a short opening line that clearly state what the graph shows for both groups.
organization
Put the data in a simple order, for example year by year, to show rise and fall.
coherence
Use simple linking words to connect ideas, like and, but, also, however.
accuracy
Be precise with numbers and use the same way to write them (e.g., 96,000; 148,500).
conclusion
Finish with a short overall idea that sums up the trend.
grammar
Check grammar and use simple tenses correctly.
data
The essay gives clear numbers for key years.
content
It shows a good idea that women have more graduates across the period.
coherence
The writer uses connect words that help flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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