IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that if you give a good interview, the chances are high that you may get selected for the job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The massive responsibility of making a workplace a pleasant atmosphere for staff is on the shoulders of employers.
While
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 some opine that employees with strong
communication
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 skills can perform better in the workplace, in my view,
although
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 no one dares to deny the importance of good
communication
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, it does not necessarily guarantee an expert clerk. On the one hand, there is a definite link between good
communication
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 and
behavior
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behaviour
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 in a working environment. So seriously has attracting customers affected a large number of managers’ minds that they strongly believe hiring staff who are talented at connecting with clients is one of the most effective approaches to make their companies popular.
As a result
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, many employers place a high value on factors
such
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 as high self-confidence and polite
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 to enhance the productivity of their business.
On the other hand
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, there is nothing about the first impression to do with higher productivity in a working atmosphere.
For example
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, it is no wonder people in formal situations experience a great deal of stress, since they are under the supervision of some experts, which has a lot of negative effects on their way of communicating, so it is not logical to
prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
this
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 subjective matter over other things, like a strong resume.
Moreover
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, we should not judge a book by its cover.
In other words
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, some introverted people are not good at expressing themselves for the first time, even if they are full of experience and knowledge. In conclusion, the fact that a better way of
communication
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 plays a crucial role in the progress of a company.
However
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, I believe some important factors must be considered by managers when they decide to hire an employee.

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task response
Answer the exact prompt. The essay here talks about a different topic. It does not answer how far you agree with the idea of good interviews helping hiring.
task response
Make your view clear. In the end say if you agree or not, and how much, with 1 or 2 reasons.
structure
Plan your essay. Use a simple plan: start with a short move, then give 2 to 3 main ideas, then finish with a simple ending that repeats your view.
coherence
Keep one idea in each paragraph and add a short example to back it up. This helps clarity.
content
The essay shows an attempt to present two sides of a topic.
language
Links like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used to show contrast.
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