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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s life others think adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.Discuss both views and give your opinion .

The notion of
happiness
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 and when in
life
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 we experience it most profoundly is a topic of endless
debeat
Correct your spelling
debate
.Some people look back to their teenage years as the pinnacle of joy,
while
Linking Words
 others find a deeper,more meaningful satisfaction in
adulthood
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,despite its increased responsibilities.Both perspectives have valid arguments,and I believe that each stage of
life
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 offers a distinct kind of
happiness
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. Those who champion adolescence as the best period of
life
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 often point to its relative freedom from serious obligation.For many teenagers,their primary concerns revolve around school,friendships,and social
life
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.They are not yet burdened by the pressing demands of managing a household,building a career,or raising a
famliy
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family
.
This
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 period is often filled with'firsts'--first love,first independent trips,and the excitement of discovering one's identity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the teenage years are typically supported by a safety net provided by parents,which allows for exploration and mistakes without severe long-term consequences.The friendships formed during
this
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 time can feel incredibly intense and pure,free from the complexities of
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
 professional network.In
this
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 view,
happiness
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 is found in the lack of responsibility and the thrilling,often emotional,journey of self-discovery.
On the other hand
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,many argue that
adulthood
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,for all its challenges,provides a more authentic and rewarding form of
happiness
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.
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while
Fix capitalization
While
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 teenagers may have fewer responsibilities,they often have less control over their lives.Adults,
by contrast
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,have the autonomy to shape their own destinies.They can choose their career path,decide where to live,and form their own family units.
This
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 freedom to
bulid
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build
 a
life
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according to
Linking Words
 one's own values is a powerful source of
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
.The responsibilities of
adulthood
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,
such
Linking Words
 as raising children or excelling in a profession,are not just burdens;they are
also
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source
Correct article usage
a source
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 of profound purpose and pride.The
happiness
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 derived from nurturing a child's growth or achieving a hard-won career goal is often described as deeper and more lasting than the fleeting excitements of youth. It is a
happiness
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 built on self-knowledge,resilience,and meaningful accomplishment. In my opinion,it is reductive to label one stage of
life
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 as universally happier than the other.
Happiness
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 is not a fixed state but a fluid experience that changes as we do. The
happiness
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 of adolescence is often intense,spontaneous,and social.It is the joy of a late-night conversation with friends or the thrill of a school victory.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 period can
also
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 be fraught with anxiety,peer
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
,and the confusion of figuring out who you are.
Therefore
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,I believe that each phase has
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 unique merits.Adolescence offers a unique kind of freedom and emotional intensity,
while
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adulthood
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 offers the
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
 that comes from autonomy and purpose.Rather than ranking them,it is more helpful to see them as connected chapters.The experiences and lessons of our youth, both joyful and painful,lay the foundation for the resilience and appreciation that can make adult
life
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 so rewarding.Ultimately,the capacity for
happiness
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 is present throughout our lives;it simply manifests in different forms as we grow and evolve.

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task response
Your answer shows both sides and states your view clearly. To push the score higher, give more strong and specific examples in each point and state your view again in the final line.
coherence and cohesion
In each paragraph, start with a clear topic idea. Use simple links like and, but, also, for example, to show how ideas go from one to the next. Try to keep sentences shorter and tidy.
structure
Clear plan with intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
argument
Shows both sides well and gives a clear opinion.
content
Uses examples that fit the topic and show contrast between youth and adult life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pinnacle
  • spontaneity
  • profound
  • exploration
  • thrill
  • vivid
  • challenges
  • personal growth
  • career satisfaction
  • nuances
  • overcoming obstacles
  • perspectives
  • circumstances
What to do next:
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