IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia.

The graph shows the number of overseas students arriving in Australia for education in four countries: Hong Kong,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Singapore
Use synonyms
. From 1982 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of students from all four countries increased between these years ,
although
Linking Words
 the speed of
grow it
Use the right word
growth
show examples
was different.
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 showed a bigger increase , and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Singapore
Use synonyms
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 more slowly. In
1982
Punctuation problem
1982,
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 had the highest number of students like 8000
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 now
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 the lowest
country
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 started to grow and
now is
Correct word order
is now
show examples
 the highest with 23000. Hong Kong and
Singapore
Use synonyms
 have increased a lot since
1982
Punctuation problem
1982,
show examples
 with 20000
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
. From
1982
Punctuation problem
1982,
show examples
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 went up very quickly
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 a peak
nearly
Change preposition
of nearly
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
30000
Hong
Punctuation problem
. Hong
show examples
 Kong
also
Linking Words
 had an excellent increase during the 90s
Punctuation problem
, going
show examples
going to
Verb problem
reaching
show examples
 more than 20000, higher than now.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
Singapore
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 grew a lot during the 90s
going
Punctuation problem
, going
show examples
 to 18000 in 1996
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 now is still growing.
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 started
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 best
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 19000
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 now
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 decreasing
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 17000

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words indonesia, malaysia, singapore with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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