IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most improtant goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that economic regulations play a crucial role in improving the public's life.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that many sectors might enhance the general utilities, there is
also
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 an argument that the trades alone can bring greater progress.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view, followed by my own opinion. On one hand, many governments around the world are heavily dependent on economic methods to increase their incomes, like
the
Correct article usage
apply
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commercial reciprocity.
In other words
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, most authorities think that investment is a cornerstone of a society, and can bring unmatched benefits for the public.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
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 improving the infrastructure and household revenues.
In addition
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, the financial applications contribute to overcoming many difficulties that will be facing the nations.
For example
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. The Chinese experience in the
last
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 five decades, they used all resources and administrative power to promote their budget.
Furthermore
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, encourage their citizens to work in different trade fields. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, some views argue that other species of development are equally effective for the community. It
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also
Verb problem
is also
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 possible to say that they are convinced about the diversity conception.
Moreover
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, the unions should be interested in various sections, like education, new technologies, renewable energy and health. Because these items are closely linked to developing us economically.
For instance
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, Egypt used their influence to work in all systems, like learning and health, which contribute to giving opportunities for new generations. In conclusion, both views are worth considering
,
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.
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 I tend to believe that the politicians should distribute their attention to ensure progress in different fields.

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language
Fix small grammar and spelling mistakes that slow reading.
structure
Try one idea per paragraph and use a clear topic sentence in each.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas go from one to next (for example, first, also, but, finally).
content
Give clear and real examples, and explain why they show your point.
task
Finish with a short last sentence that restates your view.
task
You try to discuss both sides and give your own view.
structure
There is an intro and a short end.
content
You use real places like China and Egypt.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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