IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative?

In the modern
world
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world,
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 technology has impacted the way
how
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
comunnicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with each other, making
people
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 look for individuals who can be useful to them only for certain things, which leaves a negative impact, because
people
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also
Linking Words
 start to compare themselves to what they see on the
inetrnet
Correct your spelling
internet
. Individuals
in
Change preposition
apply
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nowadays look for a
person
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 to be helpful only for a certain aspect.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
techonolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 being so advanced and full
with
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of
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 information,
that
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apply
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a
person
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 can get it without putting a big effort, they don'
t
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 find the importance of asking someone for
a
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apply
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certainety
Correct your spelling
certainty
, because
thats
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that's
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 not needed for them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when
some
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a
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 subject is not clear to someone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there is no resource to make it clear for
this
Linking Words
 matter, an individual will look for someone to build a
relaitionship
Correct your spelling
relationship
 with to help them. As an example, when the internet can'
t
Use synonyms
 help with understanding the matter of feeling a pain in a body part, the
person
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 finds the fastest solution
of
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by
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 going to the doctor and having them help with the problem.
Tecnology
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Technology
making
Verb problem
is making
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people
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 only
comunnicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with each other when they
are needing
Wrong verb form
need
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 help in some specific aspect. By having the technology take
such
Linking Words
 a big part in
people
Use synonyms
 making
relaitionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
, it leaves the negative aspect of
people
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 comparing them to what the
inernet
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internet
 shows. When a
person
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 is online all the time and
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
show examples
 the way how other
relaitionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
 function, they don'
t
Use synonyms
 realise the reality of the difference in
people
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 and how they are, they compare to what they see online as a perfect
bound
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bond
show examples
. That results in
people
Use synonyms
 believing in things that aren'
t
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 real and supporting
relaitinships
Correct your spelling
relationships
 that on the inside aren'
t
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 the ones to be looked up to. As an example, actors Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 had a
relaitionship
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relationship
 that looked perfect for the outside world, and many supporters explained it as the connection everyone has to have, but in
reality
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reality,
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 Pitt cheated on her
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it wasn'
t
Use synonyms
 the perfect couple everyone made them to be. By having the
inernet
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internet
 show everything
of
Change preposition
about
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an other
Use the right word
another
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person
Use synonyms
's life, it makes
people
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 compare with what they have and not look at situations objectively.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 the technologies overtake the way of how
people
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 make
relaitionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
, making
people
Use synonyms
comunnicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with each other only if it's for a certain matter, as well
making
Correct word choice
as making
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 compare themselves to what the internet shows. I think that leaves a negative impact, because every
person
Use synonyms
 is different
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 on the
internet
Add a comma
internet,
show examples
 not everything shows as
it's
Verb problem
it does
show examples
 in the real world.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear start, middle, and end. Use one main idea per paragraph.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, like because, also, however, and.
content
Answer both parts of the task. State your view clearly and give side notes.
content
Give more details and a strong example for each point.
language
Check word form and spelling to keep meaning clear.
language
Use simple but correct sentences. Avoid long, hard phrases.
content
The essay shows a clear view that technology affects relationships.
language
There is a basic attempt to give examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Redefine
  • Interact
  • Networking
  • Convenience
  • Superficial
  • Collaboration
  • Support groups
  • Echo chamber
  • Remote working
  • Virtual teams
  • Addiction
  • Escapism
  • Maintain
  • Long distance
What to do next:
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