IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given plans illustrate the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it looked in 2009 after several modifications.
Overall
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, many substitutions and changes took place between the two years
:
Punctuation problem
;
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 some areas were newly added, others remained unchanged,
while
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 certain items disappeared. On the one hand, in 2001, there was a librarian’s desk directly in front of the entrance, stairs on the right, and the self-help corner on the left, attached to the history
books
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section
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.
Moreover
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, eight tables were located in the middle of the library, with the newspaper
section
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 on the right and the fiction
books
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section
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 at the far end of the building.
On the other hand
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, by 2009, numerous changes had occurred.
In addition
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 to the existing self-help and history sections, kitchen and economics
books
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 were introduced,
while
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 the fiction
books
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section
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 was relocated to a different area.
Furthermore
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, the tables were reorganised and increased in number, providing more seating. Two computers, a children’s area, and films and DVD sections were
also
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 added near the tables,
whereas
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 the stairs and the librarian’s desk remained in their original positions.

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task response
Task response is good. It gives a clear overview of the two plans and the main changes. To push to band 8, add more exact changes and compare more points in one view.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are clear. The text uses clear paragraphs and linking to show steps. To raise it, use a steady order and simple links like first, next, finally, and keep a steady point order.
structure
Clear start with a short view of changes.
organization
Two clear blocks for 2001 and 2009.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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