IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that technology has greatly improved communication, while others feel that it has had a negative impact on interpersonal relationships. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
people
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 argue that the
internet
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 has helped
people
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 connect more easily and has made the world feel smaller.
However
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, others think that the
internet
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 reduces real-life communication and creates isolation.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and explain my own opinion. On the one hand, the
internet
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 allows
people
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 to communicate quickly and easily. Social media platforms
such
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 as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter help users share photos, chat, and stay updated about each other's lives.
In addition
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, online groups allow
people
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 with similar interests to meet and communicate.
For example
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,
people
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 can stay in touch with relatives who live in another city or country through video calls and messages. Because of
this
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, many believe that the
internet
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 strengthens relationships.
On the other hand
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, spending too much time online can make
people
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 less social in real life. Some individuals prefer staying at home and using their phones
instead
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 of meeting others face-to-face. Over time,
this
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 may lead to loneliness, low motivation and even anxiety.
Furthermore
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, long hours of screen time can cause eye strain and reduce physical activity, which negatively affects a person's health.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 think that the
internet
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 can create isolation if it is overused. In conclusion,
while
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 the
internet
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 helps
people
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 stay connected across long distances, it can
also
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 lead to isolation when used excessively. In my opinion, the
internet
Use synonyms
 is useful, but it should be used in a balanced and healthy way.

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structure
Add a clear link from one idea to the next with simple sign posts and topic sentences.
content
Give stronger, concrete details or examples to back each point, not only general words.
style
Keep sentences short and easy. Check word choice to be simple and clear.
grammar
Check mistakes in spelling and grammar and keep one idea per sentence.
conclusion
Finish with a strong, clear verdict that sums up your view.
overall
The essay shows a balanced view of both sides.
structure
The conclusion states the writer opinion clearly.
structure
There is a good use of contrast words (but, on the other hand).
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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