IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In today’s world, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that old
buildings
Use synonyms
 and houses in cities should be
substituded
Correct your spelling
substituted
 by modern
buildings
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 others believe that we should protect old
buildings
Use synonyms
. In my
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, the historical
buildings
Use synonyms
 need to be preserved rather than demolished. On the one hand, the proponents of replacing old
buildings
Use synonyms
 and houses with modern
buildings
Use synonyms
 argue that those architectures possess dangerous factors,
while
Linking Words
 modern
buildings
Use synonyms
 provide a higher level of structural security. The old
arechitectures
Correct your spelling
architectures
 are being aged during a long period. If
people
Use synonyms
 do not demolish them, they might collapse suddenly without precautions, which perhaps injure
people
Use synonyms
 who are walking on the street.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with the rapid development of science, modern
buildings
Use synonyms
 possess advanced
technique
Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
japan
Fix capitalization
Japan
show examples
, they establish a flexible structure under the
froud
Correct your spelling
foundation
 before
build
Replace the word
building
show examples
 houses
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
 the
injury
Fix the agreement mistake
injuries
show examples
brings
Verb problem
caused
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, modern
buildings
Use synonyms
 as
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 alternative
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 old
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
show examples
 could decrease
injuried
Correct your spelling
injury
 rate.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the reasons why we should protect old
buildings
Use synonyms
 are that old
buildings
Use synonyms
 possess cultural meaning
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
aged
Correct word choice
ageing
show examples
 problem can be solved without
pull
Wrong verb form
pulling
show examples
 them down. The old
buildings
Use synonyms
 were made
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 ancient
people
Use synonyms
, which represent ancient urban labels.
As a result
Linking Words
, they make the cities more
clourful
Correct your spelling
colourful
 and
cultural diversity
Replace the word
culturally diverse
show examples
, with modern
buildings
Use synonyms
. In
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term, that could
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 urban development,
such
Linking Words
 as providing historical
spciemen
Correct your spelling
specimens
.
Besides
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 could construct
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 project to protect the old
buildings
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Italy, the leaning tower of
pisa
Fix capitalization
Pisa
show examples
 was
establised
Correct your spelling
established
thousand
Correct article usage
a thousand
show examples
 years ago.
As
Change preposition
To
show examples
 prevent it
suddenly
Change preposition
from suddenly
show examples
collapses
Wrong verb form
collapsing
show examples
 and
hit
Verb problem
passing
show examples
passby
Correct your spelling
by
, the government points out a safety area, and
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 maintaining
every
Correct pronoun usage
it every
show examples
 year.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it not only
remain
Verb problem
preserves
show examples
 the meaningful old
buildings
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
 the
injuried
Correct your spelling
injury
 rate
via protect
Change preposition
by protecting
show examples
 them rather than
destory
Check wording
destroying them
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 replacing old
buildings
Use synonyms
 with modern
buildings
Use synonyms
 has some merits, I believe that
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
 them is the more critical consideration for a sustainable future.

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task
Your view is clear, but say it at the start or end in a stronger way.
grammar
Fix many small grammar mistakes so your meaning is clear.
coherence
Use easy link words like 'and', 'but', 'however', and 'also' to join ideas.
content
Give a few strong, real examples to back the two sides.
task response
You show both sides and you give your own view.
coherence
You use 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' to show two sides.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • paramount
  • evolutionary journey
  • tangible link
  • fostering
  • sense of belonging
  • architectural beauty
  • economic benefit
  • tourist attractions
  • preservation techniques
  • structural integrity
  • energy-efficient
  • sustainable architecture
  • cultural preservation
  • urban demands
  • contemporary lifestyles
What to do next:
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