IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Q Some people think that women should not be allowed to work in the police force. Do you Agree or Disagree?

Some individuals are concerned
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that females can not work as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollice
Correct your spelling
police
 officers .
Im
Correct your spelling
I
 partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 , on one hand it's good ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the females are weak physically compared to the
men
Use synonyms
 ,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
it
Verb problem
it's
show examples
 completely against human rules . The
women
Use synonyms
 police workers
are had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 less stamina than
men
Use synonyms
 . It's related to the differences between
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 body and
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 evolution
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. From the
Correct your spelling
beginning
beggining
Add a comma
beggining,
show examples
 the female had a role as a mother , who takes care of the children , whilst
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
 had to hunt , fight with other
men
Use synonyms
 , in order to save the
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 conducted
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
 by Oxford
university
Fix capitalization
University
show examples
display
Correct subject-verb agreement
displays
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 tend to have more physical pressure
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
than
women
Use synonyms
 ,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 fully affected
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human evolution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
women
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 equal rights, so they can be able to work at police stations
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 .
Women
Use synonyms
pollice
Correct your spelling
police
 officers are not working less
effective
Replace the word
effectively
show examples
 compared to the
men
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 are more effective .
For instance
Linking Words
, the
women
Use synonyms
 officers are more emotionally active , and the situations
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
which
demands
Correct subject-verb agreement
demand
show examples
 it ,
women
Use synonyms
 are more likely to engage in .  In conclusion , the idea of full restriction
about of
Change preposition
on
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 working in
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not appropriate
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 are taking a lead
in particular
Linking Words
 situations .

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it on the point.
coherence
Use a few good examples and link ideas with easy words like also, but and however.
language
Check spelling and use simple sentences. Try to fix common errors in police word and other key terms.
structure
You try to show both sides of the topic.
coherence
You use linking words such as On the other hand.
task response
You make a clear position at the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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