IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extend do you agree of disagree with this statement?

The saying “prevention is better than cure” has become widely used in many modern healthcare systems. Many individuals argue that a large proportion of healthcare funding should be spent on
health
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 and preventive
measures
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 rather than focusing solely on treatment.I
strogly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 view as nowadays preventative
measures
Use synonyms
 are crucial to
esure
Correct your spelling
ensure
 long-term
puiblic
Correct your spelling
public
health
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by focusing on
health
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education
Use synonyms
 , countries contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the well-development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and avoid risks related to
transmitted
Replace the word
the transmission of
show examples
Use synonyms
virus
Correct article usage
the virus
show examples
 . Taking the
exemple
Correct your spelling
example
 of SIDA
virus
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,which can be
trasmetted
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transmitted
 by unsafe sexual
rapport
Check wording
contact
show examples
 or from
affected
Correct article usage
an affected
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 mother to her future baby , with the absence of
health
Use synonyms
education
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,
this
Linking Words
 dangerous
murder
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disease
show examples
 could affect many citizens , leading to a huge problem.
However
Linking Words
, to avoid
this
Linking Words
 and other related problems, the country is obligated to offer free
health
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education
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 spots ,in the universities,during important sports
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 and even on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV.
Secondly
Linking Words
, preventative
measures
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 people to avoid being affected by many viruses
as well as
Linking Words
 detecting the illness in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 stage and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 the
initative
Correct your spelling
initiative
 to deal with it.During
Correct article usage
the corona-virus
show examples
corona-
Use the right word
coronavirus
show examples
virus
Use synonyms
 period , many countries
obligated
Verb problem
required
show examples
the face
mask
Fix the agreement mistake
masks
show examples
 in public areas ,trying to avoid the transmission of the
virus
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.By implementing primary defence methods, many viruses could be controlled, which
reflect
Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects
show examples
 the importance of preventative
measures
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 . In conclusion,
in addition
Linking Words
 to the treatment ,which surely must be presented in hospitals , the countries should think about the
health
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 for
induviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 since early ages
as well as
Linking Words
 the preventative
measures
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 , with
provindig necesseraly
Correct your spelling
providing necessary
 tools like face masks during the
corona
Use the right word
coronavirus
show examples
virus
Use synonyms
 period, to keep citizens in good
health
Use synonyms
 condition.

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planning
Plan your writing. Start with a clear view, then list the main ideas and a short example for each.
language
Use simple, correct sentences. Check spelling and grammar so your point is not lost.
structure
Link ideas with small joins, such as also, and, but, then, so. Make smooth steps from one sentence to the next.
content
Give only one idea in each paragraph. Keep points short and close to the prompt.
content
Give real and simple examples that are easy to see and not off topic.
task response
Your view is clear: you agree with the idea of prevention.
coherence
You use real life examples like COVID and AIDS to back your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevention
  • health education
  • disease
  • health budget
  • treatment
  • measures
  • investing
  • chronic
  • lifestyle
  • quality of life
  • expensive
  • check-ups
  • vaccinations
  • serious
  • population
  • habits
  • overall
  • proportion
  • understand
  • importance
What to do next:
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