The pie chart show what makes people most happy for two different age groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts provide key information about things that can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals pleased. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
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, it is clear from the graphs that there are five approaches and two age categories.
Firstly
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, the achievement at work is the most important concept in both groups,
it made
Wrong verb form
making
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up 31% and 32% of happiness resources, respectively.
On the other hand
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, spending time with family becomes as third reason for gladness in both classes. In terms of hobbies, all people are interested in their talents, which made up 24% of people over 30 years, and 22% in
above
Correct pronoun usage
those above
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30 years.
According to
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what is shown, travelling is less attractive
overall
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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it has similar rates between both classes, almost 15%. The public above 30 is careful about their financial situation, accounting for 20% of happy causes,
while
Linking Words
younger people 18%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the other factors have the lowest rates among all bodies. In conclusion, these diagrams generally reflect that improvement in job is a crucial factor among the population at all age stages.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • contributing factors
  • distinct age groups
  • primary sources
  • comprising
  • leading contributors
  • predominant
  • accounting for
  • underscores contrasts
  • prioritize
  • universal aspects of well-being
  • engaging in enjoyable activities
  • source of joy
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