IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

​​The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries: China and India. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart presents the food intake in
China
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 compared to the
World
Use synonyms
 in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, processed
foods
Use synonyms
 in all the categories are the most eaten, but the least eaten
differs
Correct subject-verb agreement
differ
show examples
with
Change preposition
between
show examples
China
Use synonyms
 compared to
India
Use synonyms
 and the
World
Use synonyms
. In
India
Use synonyms
 and the
Use synonyms
World
Add a comma
World,
show examples
 the proportions are
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
. The most consumed
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 processed
foods
Use synonyms
, because
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
India
Use synonyms
 it is 39%, but for the
world
Use synonyms
 41%.
However
Linking Words
, for the
world
Use synonyms
vegetables
Punctuation problem
, vegetables
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 and fruits are 29% and animal food 26%, and for
Use synonyms
India
Add a comma
India,
show examples
 it is
simmilar
Correct your spelling
similar
, for animal
foods
Use synonyms
 1% more
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 it 27%, but for vegetables and
fruits
Punctuation problem
fruits,
show examples
 6% less, being 23%. For both
groups
Punctuation problem
groups,
show examples
 the least eaten are nuts and seeds, making only 11% of the proportion for
India
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
petite
Correct word choice
mere
show examples
 4% for the
world
Use synonyms
. As for
China
Use synonyms
, the largest proportion is taken by processed
foods
Use synonyms
, making it
approximetly
Correct your spelling
approximately
one-thrid
Use the right word
one-third
show examples
 of the total, which rounds up to 34%. Vegetables and fruits
coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 close in numbers as
second,
Linking Words
being 32%, but compared to the other two regions, the smallest percentage for
China
Use synonyms
 is for animal food, because it is 15%. Leaving nuts and seeds in second to
last
Linking Words
, with 19%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words china, india, world, foods with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average consumption
  • Global composition
  • Food category
  • Meat, vegetables, fruits, grains
  • Percentage, proportion
  • Comparative analysis
  • Similarities and differences
  • Intake, consumption patterns
  • Striking differences
  • Notable similarities
  • Higher/lower consumption
  • Significant difference
  • Proportionate share
  • Relevant comparison
  • General trend
  • Insight
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