IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays governments are investing more in public transport such as buses and trains rather than in building new roads. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

People
Use synonyms
 have various views about the government investing more in public
transport
Use synonyms
 rather than building new roads.
Although
Linking Words
 there are disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 investing in public
transport
Use synonyms
 like buses and trains, they are outweighed by the advantages. Regarding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the disadvantages of investing more in
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transportation
system
Use synonyms
, probably the first popping
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 mind is that it could cost a fortune than building new roads. As there is much work that needs to be done before the start of construction, like environment inspection and route planning,
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 work would cost a lot of time and money.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, building and operating
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large systems like metros and buses
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very expensive
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 if the funding is unstable, the services may become infrequent, crowded or poorly maintained.
Although
Linking Words
 there are downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 investing in
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 transportation
system
Use synonyms
, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The most significant advantage of
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 transportation
system
Use synonyms
 is that it can mitigate the problem of traffic jams. Buses and metros can carry hundreds of
people
Use synonyms
 at the same time
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can easily reach anywhere
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the city in a short period of time. If the government can promote the benefits of public
transport
Use synonyms
 to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 and give some discounts to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who travel a lot by public
transport
Use synonyms
, I think it could attract more
people
Use synonyms
 to travel by public
transport
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of private cars.
In addition
Linking Words
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 mitigate the air pollution problem. Petroleum provides the main fuel to vehicles
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the more cars on the road, the more carbon dioxide is generated. If the public can use more public
transport
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of private cars, the problem of carbon emissions can be mitigated. Under
this
Linking Words
 line of thinking,
although
Linking Words
 there are disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the government investing more in public
transport
Use synonyms
, they are still outweighed by the advantages.

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structure
Plan your answer with a short outline before you write.
structure
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in mind.
coherence
Use a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit.
grammar
Keep grammar simple and short sentences.
grammar
Fix common errors like 'Regarding to' or 'these work'.
task
Give one real example to show how public transport helps people.
clarity
The writer states a view that the good of public transport can beat bad parts.
content
The answer shows more than one good point like less traffic and less pollution.
structure
The text tries to discuss both sides and ends with a view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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