IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is best to accept bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage if money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Describe both these views and give your own openion.

Nowadays,
job
Use synonyms
 hopping has become common among youngsters. A group of people believes that it is better to be in the same
job
Use synonyms
 despite low pay or stress.
While
Linking Words
 others think that
job
Use synonyms
 hopping is fine to get better pay and satisfactory work. I am in support of the latter view. Reasons behind both the views and my opinion are discussed
further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, there are many reasons why some people opine that, rather than changing companies, a worker should compromise. The main reason for their view is the negative effect on the resume. Whenever
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 a
person
Use synonyms
 finds
actual
Correct article usage
the actual
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 best fit workplace, their past experience can create a bad impression on employees
due to
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 frequent
job
Use synonyms
 hopping. These people are suggesting
to stick
Wrong verb form
sticking
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
job
Use synonyms
 in spite of bad circumstances
,
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apply
show examples
 until you do not find the best work.
On the other hand
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, those who are in support of
job
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 hopping
,
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apply
show examples
 give their reasons as follows. The first reason is the mental
health
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 impact. If a
person
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 continues to work in a negative environment,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can suffer from mental
health
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 issues,
such
Linking Words
 as stress, depression, and anxiety.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if a worker keeps working for a low-pay
job
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, he has to face problems like poverty , or even sometimes he cannot fulfil the basic requirements of his family. So, in order to get better opportunities and to betterment of
health
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, upgradation of working conditions is not a bad idea.
According to
Linking Words
 my perspective,
job
Use synonyms
 hopping can add a wide range of experiences and skills to
Use synonyms
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 profile. As long as a
person
Use synonyms
 has a valid reason to change jobs, there is nothing wrong with doing it. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 professional growth and personal growth are equally important.
However
Linking Words
, being in a bad workplace environment can deteriorate skills of a
person
Use synonyms
, rather than improving them.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 hopping has some negative effects on a
person
Use synonyms
's profile, it could be beneficial for mental
health
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 and could lead to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 salary. I believe, whenever you get a chance to grab a better opportunity, you should.

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coherence
Work on linking ideas with clear, single ideas in each paragraph and use simple connectors to show the step from one point to the next.
grammar
Improve grammar and sentence form. Shorter, clearer sentences help readability and reduce errors.
lexical
Choose precise words and avoid unusual forms (like 'upgradation'). Use common words to express your ideas.
task
Give a simple example to back up your point so the reader sees how your idea works.
structure
State your view clearly in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion for a strong finish.
structure
You show a clear view and a plan at the start.
coherence
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to present both sides.
content
Paragraphs follow a good order and your reasons touch on key points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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