Nowadays young people admire media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

These days,

number

Correct article usage

a number

show examples

of youngsters

idolize

Change the spelling

idolise

show examples

celebrities on social media and sports fields even though they have questionable

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Although

Linking Words

their admiration can sometimes encourage them, I think

this

Linking Words

trend is adverse as it influences young minds in harmful ways and shapes unrealistic expectations. On the positive side, admiring prominent

Use synonyms

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

can positively impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young minds. As long as famous

Use synonyms

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

demonstrate their

full filling

Use the right word

fulfilling

show examples

life, achievements and their efforts with hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

, they can motivate

youngers

Check wording

young people

show examples

to stay focused on their goals without

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

distractions.

For example

Linking Words

, sportsmen can display their continuous efforts that

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been going on for

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

time without paying attention

Change preposition

show examples

other things.

As a result

Linking Words

, it can positively impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young minds.

Although

Linking Words

there are some positive

aspects

Use synonyms

which can encourage

youngers

Check wording

young people

show examples

to keep

hard working

Correct word order

working hard

show examples

, there are negative

aspects

Use synonyms

too. The main negative aspect of that development is

adverse

Correct article usage

an adverse

show examples

impacting

Replace the word

impact

show examples

on people’s

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. Because if

Use synonyms

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

famous people’s

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

social media, they may emulate them and compare themselves to others.

Moreover

Linking Words

compare

Wrong verb form

comparing

show examples

themselves to others

, negative

Verb problem

has, negative

show examples

impacting

Replace the word

impact

show examples

on their self-confidence and mood.

In addition

Linking Words

, it can negatively influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

younger

’s

Check wording

people’s

show examples

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

if they

have

Verb problem

exhibit

show examples

unethically

Replace the word

unethical

show examples

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. In conclusion, following prominent

Use synonyms

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

social media may be beneficial for

youngers

Use the right word

young people

show examples

. They can encourage them to

hard

Verb problem

work hard

show examples

working

Verb problem

apply

show examples

and

paying

Wrong verb form

pay

show examples

more attention to their goals by illustrating their

full filling

Use the right word

fulfilling

show examples

life.

However

Linking Words

, they can adversely affect young

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and

younger’s

Check wording

younger

show examples

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

if they have questionable

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. For that reason, I believe that the negative

aspects

Use synonyms

outweigh the positive

aspects

Use synonyms

musabekovaferuza50

Nov 28, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response

Say your view in a clear line at the start, so the reader knows your stand.

Coherence

Use one idea per paragraph and end with a short linked sentence to the next idea.

Coherence

Use linking words like 'also', 'but', 'however' so the piece flows.

Grammar

Check spelling and tiny grammar errors (such as 'peoples' and 'youngers') to make the text easier to read.

Lexical Resource

Choose simple words and use them well; avoid long or tricky phrases.

Lexical Resource

Give real but simple examples to support points instead of vague ones.

balance

The essay tries to talk about both sides of the issue.

structure

There is an ending that states a clear view.

structure

There is an intro and a conclusion, which gives a full shape to the writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

media personalities
sports icons
role models
admiration
influence
behavior
mindset
values
unethical behavior
healthy lifestyles
social media platforms
celebrity culture
career aspirations
educational goals
positive change
ethical standards
amplify
idolize
public perception
impressionable

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
All art needs to be beautiful in order to be valuable. If art is ugly, it is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Art is often perceived as an expression of beauty, yet to claim that all art must be aesthetically pleasing to hold value is a narrow viewpoint. I strongly disagree with this notion, as the value of art extends beyond mere appearance. Art is inherently subjective, with its significance lying in diverse interpretations and emotional resonance rather than universal standards of beauty.
7
band
Why do you think teachers give homework to students? How important is it for students to have homework? Are there any other ways of revising school lessons? Perhaps homework should be abolished. Give your opinion about this.
In this contemporary epoch, there has been a debate going on in which advocates believe that homework given by tutors is vital for children while critics say that some other measures should be used to make tutees learn. This essay will delve into the reasons behind supporting the importance of revision work and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
6.5
band
Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.
In recent times, money has been a necessity for livelihood. In contemporary society, wealth is not only considered a status symbol but also a parameter for measuring the happiness of a person.
7.5
band
The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, the issue of the country’s future has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public. Some individuals maintain that investing in the young generation is the optimal way for governments to ensure long-term development. Personally, I partly agree with this suggestion for some reasons that will be explained in this essay.
6
band
nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Amount of individuals who seek herbal treatment has surged recently rather than met the common doctor. The growth in alternative medical treatment is increasing due to the growth of the medical treatment rate in hospitals, especially doctors. In my opinion, there are at least 2 reasons behind such as economic constraints and trust issues that force the patient to look for another way to solve the problem. Patients tend to choose alternative medication to the rescue.

Nowadays young people admire media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

All art needs to be beautiful in order to be valuable. If art is ugly, it is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Why do you think teachers give homework to students? How important is it for students to have homework? Are there any other ways of revising school lessons? Perhaps homework should be abolished. Give your opinion about this.

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?