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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

**Some people believe that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, think that school is the best place to learn this.

Many people think that
parents
Use synonyms
 must teach their
kids
Use synonyms
 how to be an excellent member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, others think that a better place to learn
should be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 at
school
Use synonyms
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I think both play a major
role
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 how
kids
Use synonyms
 should behave. On one hand,
parents
Use synonyms
 play a major
role
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 how
kids
Use synonyms
 are affected and how they treat other people.
Children
Punctuation problem
Children,
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 especially younger age they
get
Verb problem
are
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 influenced by their
parents
Use synonyms
 or even siblings
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they want to act a certain way
they
Correct word choice
because they
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 think that
this
Linking Words
 is right.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 must show
kids
Use synonyms
 how to
e
Correct your spelling
be
 respectful and how they can treat members of society in a good way.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
also
Check wording
schools also
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Use synonyms
school
Check wording
apply
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have a big
role
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 how
kids
Use synonyms
 behave.
For example
Linking Words
, when there is a bully in
Use synonyms
school
Punctuation problem
school,
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 teachers cannot
normalize
Change the spelling
normalise
show examples
this
Linking Words
 in the environment and must take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 and teach them where they did wrong and
normalize apologizing
Use the right word
normalise apologising
show examples
 to other students and
respect
Wrong verb form
respecting
show examples
 them and
treat
Wrong verb form
treating
show examples
 them
with kind
Rephrase
kindly
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. Having a
school
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 with
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 environment helps
kids
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 in many ways, how to communicate better and how to adapt in many different aspects of life. It’s really helpful
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
show examples
 mental and social development. In conclusion, schools and
parents
Use synonyms
complete
Verb problem
complement
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 each other on how the
kids
Use synonyms
 should be developed and what type of environment they want to
sattel
Correct your spelling
settle
 in.
that’s
Fix capitalization
That’s
show examples
 why we always try to pick the best techniques to teach the
kids
Use synonyms
. Sharing kindness and respect plays a major
role
Use synonyms
 in younger
kids
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
it
Correct word choice
as it
show examples
 helps with positive development.

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task
Be clear on your main idea in each para. Start with a strong sentence that states your point.
coherence
Use links to guide the reader. Words like first, next, also, but, however help.
grammar
Keep sentences short. A long idea can be split into two.
content
Give more exact examples to back up your points.
accuracy
Check spell and word form (settle, respectful, kindly).
content
The plan shows both sides are seen and a view is given.
coherence
The use of on the one hand and on the other hand helps show balance.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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