IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents are better caregivers for their young children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that childcare centres are the best in providing services to preschoolers because parents
get
Verb problem
are
show examples
 free of almost all
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 from feeding to studying,
while
Linking Words
 parents who are working consider grandparents the better ones than centres since their
children
Use synonyms
 gain individual attention for
overall
Linking Words
 growth
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
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 with emotional touch. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 would
be certainly
Correct word order
certainly be
show examples
 beneficial for
them
Punctuation problem
them,
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 where they can seek the same family environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people who are busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their working schedules
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 nuclear
families
Punctuation problem
families,
show examples
 prefer daycare facilities
due to
Linking Words
 various advantages. They do not have to take
care
Use synonyms
 of every single thing of their
children
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as cooking for them, feeding, personal
care
Use synonyms
, and engaging them in fun activities
etcetera
Punctuation problem
, etcetera
show examples
 for their good growth.
For example
Linking Words
,
In canada
Use the right word
in Canada
show examples
 and America,
high
Correct article usage
a high
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working
Check wording
apply
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proportion of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
leave
Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
show examples
 their babies in daycare for
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
better
care
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe
this
Linking Words
 approach can not
still
Rephrase
apply
show examples
give the same family surroundings.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, growing
with
Change preposition
up with
show examples
 grandparents
pay
Correct pronoun usage
who pay
show examples
 proper attention to
children
Use synonyms
 for most of the time and teach the same values or life principles that they taught their
children
Use synonyms
. Family members take
care
Use synonyms
 of them very well

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structure
Plan with a simple plan: one intro, two body parts (one for each view), one clear ending.
structure
Use one clear topic sentence in each paragraph and keep only one main idea in each.
content
Explain why your view is best with small and clear reasons.
language
Use small linking words to show order and contrast (First, Also, But, So).
grammar
Check spelling and grammar, and fix wrong forms like responsibilities, Canada.
coherence
Do not repeat same phrases; move from view to view with smooth links.
content
The writer shows both sides and states a view.
content
The piece makes an effort to give reasons.
language
There are some contrasts in ideas and some linking words.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured environment
  • professional care
  • developmental stages
  • cognitive development
  • physical development
  • social development
  • social interaction
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • community belonging
  • personalized care
  • affectionate care
  • family bonds
  • emotional security
  • transmission
  • family values
  • traditions
  • pedagogical methods
  • child psychology
  • flexibility
  • educational development
  • social skills
What to do next:
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