IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the only purpose of film is entertain. Others should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays,
Watching
Fix capitalization
watching
show examples
Use synonyms
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
 has
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 an important way for
people
Use synonyms
 to relax. Some experts
announance
Correct your spelling
announce
 that
Use synonyms
film-viwer
Correct your spelling
film viewers
 should gain some lessons after the
film
Use synonyms
, others
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 that happiness is
way
Rephrase
very
show examples
 important to citizens who watch movies. I my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 learning is quite essential to
people
Use synonyms
, entertaining guests should be the main purpose. Unquestionably, the education
polt
Use the right word
policy
show examples
 gives an opportunity for
people
Use synonyms
 to think and bring benefit. Some movies may discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some social problems which
may
Verb problem
have
show examples
 happened recently. The
movie
Use synonyms
 can be used as a
media
Check wording
medium
show examples
 to spread
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the social problem and make
people
Use synonyms
 think about the tremendous
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
that appeared
show examples
appeared
Wrong verb form
appear
show examples
 around us.
For instance
Linking Words
, after the successful
movie
Use synonyms
 " I am not the god of sickness" which
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to a discussion about the expensive necessity,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
force
Wrong verb form
forced
show examples
 the government to expand the range of
medican
Correct your spelling
medical
of
Check wording
services of
show examples
 the
edical
Correct your spelling
medical
 insurance.
However
Linking Words
, compared to the
advatage
Correct your spelling
advantage
 films bring
us
Punctuation problem
us,
show examples
 how to make
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
 laugh should become the main purpose of the
film
Use synonyms
 producer. A
film
Use synonyms
 with only
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 value is
usaully
Correct your spelling
usually
 boring and hard to sell tickets. Most
viewer
Fix the agreement mistake
viewers
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 suffered from the learning environment for a whole week. Watching
Use synonyms
movie
Correct article usage
a movie
show examples
 is the way they can feel
relax
Replace the word
relaxed
show examples
. Enjoying the
limit
Replace the word
limited
show examples
 time to relax should be the
inital
Correct your spelling
initial
 demand from the consumer.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
film
Use synonyms
 with
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 entertaining plot sells more tickets. That may make the
invester
Correct your spelling
investor
an
Verb problem
have an
show examples
 increasingly high
expection
Correct your spelling
expectation
 of the second one.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the better quantity of the series with greater investment. Personally speaking, putting some plot of education may create a great
movie
Use synonyms
, but entertainment should be the main aim.

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task
Say your view in clear form in the first part and keep it through the essay.
task
Give two clear ideas for each side and back them with one simple example.
coherence
Make the flow smooth. Use small linking words like first, next, also, but, so.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one big idea and a short ending sentence.
coherence
Check spelling and word use, and use simple sentences to avoid mistakes.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides and states an opinion.
structure
A real life example is used to show a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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