IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

There is an
on going
Use the right word
ongoing
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 talk about
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 whether we should keep spending
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 amount of money on
oil
Use synonyms
 searching
due to
Linking Words
 the fact
Use synonyms
oil
Correct word choice
that oil
show examples
 will
runout
Use the right word
run out
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 eventually, where we can spend that cash on renewable
sources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as wind
power
Use synonyms
, solar
power
Use synonyms
, or even develop new
sources
Use synonyms
.
Oil
Use synonyms
 is the main source of energy for humans in the
last
Linking Words
 100 years or so, it is because of multiple reasons
such
Linking Words
 as, it is easy and, cheap to access, it is most found in the gulf region, it is where our ancetors expectedly lived years ago, that's why most wars in the modern day occur in middle east more specifically in the gulf region,we use
oil
Use synonyms
 based products on day to day bases
such
Linking Words
 as fueling our cars with desel or gasoline, or even some makeup productes, so making the shift and change can't happen in one night, so i strongly disagree with those who say that we should't rely on
oil
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 because it wil run out, even
this
Linking Words
 process of running out of
oil
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 some expert will take hundreds of years, so i think we should slightly reduce the money but not cut it at all, we can use the extra cash with funding renewable
sources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as solar or wind
power
Use synonyms
 or even, try and come up with new
power
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
 that will help the enviroment.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 conclusion,
oil
Use synonyms
 is still the most reliable source out there ,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is why we should be careful when
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 making the shift to renewable
sources
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 we can have a better future.

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structure
Your view is clear, but the essay is not well built. Make a plan first: intro, 2 or 3 reasons, and a short end. Use simple lines.
coherence
Use short sentences and link words to keep flow. Start each idea with a topic sentence.
content
Try to add one or two clear examples from life or past events to show your point.
strength
You show a clear view on the topic.
language
Your text uses easy words, which makes it simple to read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
What to do next:
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