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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music
Use synonyms
 is often hailed as a universal language, and I fully agree
that
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is
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it
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 serves as a powerful medium to connect
people
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 from diverse cultural backgrounds and
age
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 groups.
It’s
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Its
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 unique ability to transcend verbal and generational barriers makes it an unparalleled tool for fostering unity. One of the most compelling reasons is
music
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’s capacity to break down cultural divides. Unlike spoken languages that require translation,
music
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 communicates through melodies, rhythms, and emotions. These elements resonate with human beings universally.
For example
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, traditional
India
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Indian
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 ragas, African drum rhythms, and Western classical symphonies all evoke feelings of joy, sorrow, or celebration that
people
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 from any culture can understand. International
music
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 festival like Coachella attracts audiences worldwide, where attendees may not share a common language but can dance, sing, and connect through the
music
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 they love. So, the rhythm or melody could connect various cultural
background
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backgrounds
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people
Check wording
apply
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as long as
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
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have
Verb problem
share
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 the
share
Use the right word
same
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 taste.
Music
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also
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 bridges the gap between different
age
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 groups by creating intergenerational bonds.
While
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 younger generations may
favor
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favour
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 pop, hip-hop, or electronic
music
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, and older ones lean towards classical, jazz, or folk, there are countless instances of musical cross-pollination. Actually, many teenagers discover classic rock through their parents’ record collections,
while
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 older adults may develop an appreciation for modern genres through their children. Artists like Taylor Swift have fan bases spanning from teenagers to middle-aged adults, as her
music
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 addresses universal themes like love, resilience, and self-expression.
Music
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 serves as a bridge
narrowing
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, narrowing
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 the
age
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 gap, allowing teenagers and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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older adults to communicate, inherit, or develop notions. In conclusion,
music
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’s universal appeal lies in its ability to communicate emotions and experiences that transcend culture and
age
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. It fosters empathy, encourages
,
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apply
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culture
Replace the word
cultural
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 exchange, and creates shared memories that bring
people
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 together. As
such
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, it is undoubtedly one of the most effective ways to build connections in an increasingly fragmented world.

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grammar
Fix grammar and word form to make meaning clear.
coherence
Link ideas better with simple connect words like 'also', 'but', 'then'.
vocabulary
Use more simple words; avoid big or hard words.
content
Add more clear examples for each idea to support points.
strength
Shows clear view and strong belief in music as a unifier.
strength
Gives many examples from culture and age groups.
structure
Structure has clear intro, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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