Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music
Use synonyms
is everywhere in our daily lives and is the
commen
Correct your spelling
common
language among different races. I totally agree that
music
Use synonyms
is an approach to
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
show examples
different
cultures
Use synonyms
and ages.
Music
Use synonyms
is a part of genes carved in
cultures
Use synonyms
. It can mirror the aesthetic tendency and psychology of a nation through different types of rhythms and notes.
For example
Linking Words
, a traditional Chinese
music
Use synonyms
with the melodious sound of guqin and chime bells can make
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
calm and lost in meditation as if they were
in
Correct word order
already in
show examples
ancient China
already
Correct word order
apply
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, blues and jazz evoke the associations about Black people working hard in
palntations
Correct your spelling
plantations
in the
south
Fix capitalization
South
show examples
of America in the colonial era.
As a result
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
can convey
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a cultures'
show examples
cultures'
Check wording
culture's
show examples
history and
commen
Correct your spelling
common
memories by showing the emotional
flucturation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
in the past.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
is no doubt that movies, documentaries, literature and museums are brilliant carriers to store a nation's memory and easier to learn their culture.
However
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
is
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
unique entity to reflect
cultures
Use synonyms
and history through sounds people can hear. By accepting the signals of the melody, emotional resonance and the touch of one's heart string can easily be triggered in a perceptual way, which was coded in the genes in our instinct. Artists can communicate with each other via
music
Use synonyms
witout
Correct your spelling
without
language barriers in a
music
Use synonyms
festival. Chinese audiences can
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
understand the emotional
experssing
Correct your spelling
expression
way in Austria in the movie The Sound of
Music
Use synonyms
other
Punctuation problem
, other
show examples
than other plots and lines of the movie in English.
Overall
Linking Words
, I couldn't agree more that
music
Use synonyms
can fill the gap of acknowledging various
cultures
Use synonyms
, races and history.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Organize your essay into a clear plan. Make an intro, 2–3 body paragraphs with one main idea each, and a short conclusion.
grammar
Fix spelling and make words clear. Check common weak spots like 'commen', 'experssing', 'witout'.
coherence
Use simple linking words to connect ideas, such as First, Also, In addition, However, to help the flow.
content
Give stronger and more clear examples from many cultures and explain how they show culture.
content
Be careful with facts about groups and places; avoid stereotype and wrong facts.
content
The writer shows a clear view that music can bring cultures together.
content
There are some good ideas and examples about how music can show culture and history.
language
The topic is kept near the idea of music and feeling in many parts of life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: