IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in a daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that choosing the right methodology to thrive
while
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 performing our daily
work
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 is essential.
While
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 it is a commonly held
believe
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belief
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 that
competition
Correct article usage
the competition
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 concept is crucial for more achievements, there is
also
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 an argument that cooperation among team members is an effective and practical tool towards excellence.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, competition plays an important role in increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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productivity
at
Change preposition
in
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 the
work
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 environment.
In other words
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, it will encourage the employees to accomplish more efficient
work
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it will eventually lead to
enhancement
Correct article usage
an enhancement
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 in the
overall
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 performance.
In addition
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, by adapting
this
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 strategy
professionally
Punctuation problem
professionally,
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 it will significantly help to identify the weaknesses easily
and
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, and
show examples
therefore
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can be addressed in early stages.
For example
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, the majority of universities globally are providing a certificate which is called The Dean’s List. The list seeks to pick the 10% of the most hard-working students in each college based on their academic performance.
On the other hand
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, developing the skills of teamwork is critical in almost every sector. It is
also
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 possible to say that working as a group will easier the task
to
Correct word choice
easier to
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be solved
Wrong verb form
solve
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 properly and to gather the needed recommendations for upcoming challenges.
Moreover
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, by feeling the bond and chemistry among
Check wording
teammates
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teamwork
Punctuation problem
teamwork,
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 it may motivate other members to overcome undesirable traits.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
 shyness, social phobia, and self-doubt.
For instance
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, the weekly meetings
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a tradition which most
corporates
Replace the word
corporations
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 are following in order to provide more space for others to collaborate and express their opinions freely. In conclusion, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 no easy answer to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that the presence of both principles is desirable for any
work
Use synonyms
 environment
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therefore
Punctuation problem
; therefore
show examples
, balancing is the most appropriate solution to handle the issues wisely.

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task-management
Plan your essay. Start with a clear intro that states both views and your view.
coherence
Give one clear point for competition and one for cooperation in separate paragraphs, with a short example each.
grammar
Use simple, short sentences. Avoid long, complex phrases.
grammar
Check grammar mistakes like 'a common belief' vs 'believe'; use correct verb form and article.
examples
Choose easy examples that fit the point you make. Explain how they show your idea.
conclusion
Make your conclusion strong. State your final view clearly.
structure
The essay uses 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
argument
The writer shows a final view and aims for balance.
examples
There is an example from real life (Dean’s List) to back up a point.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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