The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

The table illustrates the proportion of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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employed in
Correct article usage
the different
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different six
Correct word order
six different
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fields in Australia from 1989 to 2009.
Overall
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,
while
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the manufacturing and the retail industries showed
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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in the percentage, the other four fields increased over the period. In 1989, the manufacturing and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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retail
experienced
Check wording
sectors experienced
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the largest number of
workforce
Check wording
workers
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employed at 15% and 11.8% respectively, before falling to around 9.8% and 10.1% in 2009.
In contrast
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, health care accounted for 9.6% in 1989,
raising
Use the right word
rising
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to 11.3%, the highest proportion among all industries
by
Punctuation problem
, by
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2009.
Similarly
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, 7.6% recorded for
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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field
,
Punctuation problem
;
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this
Linking Words
figure climbed moderately to only 8.3%.
According to
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the
employed
Verb problem
apply
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number in both education and tourism shared relatively similar
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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at approximately 6.8% and 5.5%
in
Change preposition
apply
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1989 in 1989, and
then
Linking Words
increased to about 7.5% in 2009.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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