IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

here
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There
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 is no doubt that social
life
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 is one of the most essential factors which has a huge impact on our lives. Nowadays, social
life
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 has a new shape as it is known now as social media, and we can see it clearly among the new generations, where they can make new
friends
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 or even spend time with old
friends
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 just through a screen; even more, they prefer it rather than going outside to meet these
friends
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 face to face. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 kind of behaviour has to stop immediately. Social
life
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 should be practised in the way it is meant to be - in person .
Firstly
Linking Words
, social
life
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 is one of the milestones which define our characteristics, so we have to work on enhancing it as it will be responsible for our teenagers' future. Sadly, the new generation has been affected in a bad way because of that new technology , which has invaded our social
life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, my younger brother, who is 15 years old, prefers to talk to his
friends
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 and even our relatives through his mobile phone, and he is not willing to join us in any real social event,
such
Linking Words
 as birthday parties.
Thus
Linking Words
, I made a decision to limit his phone time per day to encourage him to live his
life
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 in a way it was meant to be and to help them discover the beauty of real
life
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, an Isolated
life
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 is capable of destroying our future as a nation.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
this
Linking Words
 generation grows up in
this
Linking Words
 situation, it will be really harsh on them to integrate into society for working and representing our country in the world. So, I recommend addressing
this
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 matter as a high-priority issue , and we need to work on it together.
Therefore
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, I am going to keep pushing my little brother to get involved in real
life
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no
Punctuation problem
, no
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 matter what it takes. In conclusion, Social media must not take the place of real social
life
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 , and we should guide our teenagers to replace their new social
life
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 with the one we were raised on.
Thus
Linking Words
, we need to start with our home first and advise as many mates as we can.

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development
Try to give more reasons why teens like online talk. Add a few clear points, such as how easy it is to chat, fear of talking in person, and how privacy or fitting in can push kids to choose screens. Then add two or three clear measures to boost in‑person talk, like school clubs, family days, and fair limits on phone use.
structure
Make a clear plan for your essay. Start with a short intro that states the topic and your view. Then two body paragraphs: one for reasons, one for what to do. End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
linking
Use more linking words to show cause and effect and to move from idea to idea. Simple words like because, so, but, also, then help readers follow your thoughts.
strength
You show a clear personal stance and try to argue the point.
strength
The essay has a simple but steady structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • curate
  • engaging
  • social anxiety
  • digital detox
  • tech-free zones
  • mentorship programs
  • real-world interactions
  • face-to-face settings
  • in-person participation
  • promote
  • deter
  • foster
  • appeal
  • perspectives
  • detox challenges
  • community service
What to do next:
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