IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph gives information about the uk commuters who were using car , bus and train from 1970 to 2030.

The information about the considerable number of UK individuals travelling each day by the use of car,
bus
Use synonyms
 and train from 1970 to 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
, the figures for cars and trains both showed an upward trend,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
bus
Use synonyms
 figures showed a downward trend. The data has been calibrated in millions. In 1970, the number of commuters of five
million
Use synonyms
, who were utilising the car, but
bus
Use synonyms
 and trains
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 used less by four
million
Use synonyms
, and two
million
Use synonyms
 in 1970,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of car commuters accounted for the rapid growth and reached the highest
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period by 9
million
Use synonyms
 in 2030.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
bus
Use synonyms
 faculty was noticing the gradual decline by one
million
Use synonyms
 in 2030, which was nearly four
million
Use synonyms
, and people increased in the train facility till the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000 ,and it remained the same for a decade ,
then
Linking Words
 in 2030, it increased by two
million
Use synonyms
 2030.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bus, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: