Nowadays young people increasingly admire media persons and sports stars even though they don't set a good example. Is it a positive or negative development?

As fast internet affects social media usage, many young

people

Use synonyms

can easily find someone to admire these days. I strongly believe that

this

Linking Words

reality has a negative impact on the young, and

this

Linking Words

essay will explain why. Nowadays, young

people

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usually admire someone based on their appearance or their body, no matter whether the

artist

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has a bad attitude or not.

Then

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, without

further

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consideration, young

people

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choose the

artist

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to become their role model and follow the

artist

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's behaviour.

For example

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, many

people

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like Kris Wu from EXO because he is handsome and charismatic, but the fact is that he committed sexual harassment against a woman a few years ago. Sadly, he remains has a lot of fans who do not care enough about his bad attitude. In short, these instances show that they are already blinded by the

artist

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’s look.

Furthermore

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, admiring the wrong person just wastes

time

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. Mostly, they spend their

time

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doom-scrolling, watching both the

artist

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content and daily activity without doing anything necessary.

This

Linking Words

activity slowly changes the young

people

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’s daily habits, causing them to give up their hobbies over

time

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. As an example, just for healing, young

people

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can spend more than 4 hours a day searching for information about their

artist

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, following the habit, watching them doing silly activities, and others. In conclusion,

while

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others think

conversely

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, I firmly agree that

this

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reality can affect young

people

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’s behaviour and waste their

time

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. As a prediction, these reasons believe that the negative development outweighs the positive one.

mauly.azzahra23

Dec 1, 2025

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structure

Plan a clear view at the start: state your stand, then say why.

structure

Make one main idea in each paragraph and begin with a clear topic sentence.

cohesion

Link ideas with simple words (and, but, because, so) to show how ideas fit together.

grammar

Watch grammar: e.g. 'still has' not 'remains has', 'the artist's content' not 'the artist content'.

content

Use examples that fit the point and avoid harm from real people; if possible, keep facts neutral.

task

Add a brief view that others may have, then explain why your view is stronger.

content

Clear stance that media fame can harm youth.

coherence

Good use of sign posts like 'In conclusion' to close.

content

Some examples show link between idea and view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Nowadays young people increasingly admire media persons and sports stars even though they don't set a good example. Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Formal examination are the only effective way to Access a student performance continual assessment such as coursework and project are not a satisfactory way a do this? Do you agree and disagree?

Many parents think they should be friends with their children on social networks. To what extent do you agree?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new fast trains between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.