IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the modern world, it is believed that financial reserves are essential for every individual
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 youngsters. Personally, I totally agree with
this
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 statement for some reasons mentioned in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, savings play an essential role in personal development, especially for young people.
Firstly
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, learning to set money aside helps to enhance financial management ability. People who save money often gradually develop the mindset of spending and investing in smart ways, which makes them better at financial management and might avoid unnecessary expenses.
In addition
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, owning an amount of reserved money allows them to have more freedom and confidence.
This
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 is because financially independent individuals do not have to rely on anyone
so
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, so
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 they can make their own
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
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 and pursue their desired life.
On the other hand
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, financial planning may be useful in many situations. First of all, having an emergency fund is very helpful in urgent cases like being sacked, being sick or helping family and friends. In fact,
according to
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 some surveys, about 40% of employees do not have any savings, which makes them have to
lend
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borrow
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 or sell their properties to handle unexpected situations
which
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, which
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 often leads to a huge financial burden later.
Last
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 but not least, accumulated savings are necessary for long-term goals in a person’s life
like
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, like
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 studying abroad, purchasing valuable assets like a house
,
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apply
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 or a car or getting married and having children. Without a
life-long
Use the right word
lifelong
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 plan for financial reserves, it is very hard for an ordinary person to achieve all those things.
To sum up
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, I hold a firm belief that reserving a partial income is vital for everyone in all aspects, including self-enhancement and attaining personal goals.

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Task Response
Give more clear proof for each point and add at least one view that goes against your main line, then restate your view well to show strength.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more linking words to guide the reader and place ideas in a simple plan: intro, then 2 body parts, then a short ending.
Strength
Clear view that saving is good.
Strength
The essay gives real examples like emergencies and big life goals.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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