IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, governments should prioritize health care. Other people believe that there are more important priorities for taxpayers' money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

To summarise
some
Punctuation problem
, some
show examples
 people say that when deciding how
taxe
Correct your spelling
taxes
 should be spent government should
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
 health care
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 other people
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
 that there are more important priorities for
taxpayer's
Check wording
taxpayers'
show examples
 money
Punctuation problem
. and
show examples
and for
Correct word choice
For
show examples
me
Add a comma
me,
show examples
 I think that health care is very important
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 money
sould
Correct your spelling
should
also
Linking Words
 be used
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other needs like schools
jobs
Punctuation problem
, jobs
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 people live a better life

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content
Explain both views in clear, separate parts and finish with your own view
structure
Use a clear intro and a short ending that states your view
writing
Make a new paragraph for each idea and write topic sentences
content
Shows care for the topic and tries to give a view
strength
The idea that health care is important is easy to see
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health
  • health care
  • money
  • tax
  • spend
  • spend on
  • priority
  • need
  • people
  • life
  • work
  • doctor
  • hospital
  • medicine
  • plan
  • cost
  • value
  • fair
  • equal
  • balance
  • short term
  • long term
  • growth
  • roads
  • schools
  • safety
  • jobs
  • example
  • country
  • result
  • benefit
  • risk
  • improve
  • future
  • budget
  • funding
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