IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience, and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Technology plays an important role in our
day to day
Use the right word
day-to-day
show examples
 life. Not only in personal life, but
also
Linking Words
 in the professional world. Many organisations have moved towards the hybrid
work
Use synonyms
 environment
instead
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 of the traditional form of
work
Use synonyms
, where employees have to physically attend the
Use synonyms
work place
Use the right word
workplace
show examples
. There are several pros and cons to
this
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 situation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will be discussed in the
below paragraphs
Correct word order
paragraphs below
show examples
.
To begin
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with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 the merits of
this
Linking Words
 scenario, it helps the workers to manage their
work
Use synonyms
-life balance. Meaning, the
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 get enough time to spend with their families after spending a tiring and exhausting day at
work
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are
also
Linking Words
 forced to
work
Use synonyms
 on weekends to achieve the company targets.
Hence
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, the remote
work
Use synonyms
 opportunity will allow people to
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 save the travelling time. To add more to
this
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, operating from an office can be stressful for the population as compared to working from home.
This
Linking Words
 could be proved from a report
publised
Correct your spelling
published
 in the newspaper
last
Linking Words
 month
mentionning
Correct your spelling
mentioning
 that 70% of the workforce
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 that completing a task at home is much less stressful compared to completing it at the
Use synonyms
work place
Use the right word
workplace
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 kind of positive mindset has
also
Linking Words
 increased the creativity of the workforce by 30%.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 scenario could have some demerit points as well. To mention, the computers or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smartphones could be a major source of distraction.
This
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 could be better explained with the help of an example. A study performed by the
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 of
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Toronto mentions that many
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
 are focusing on movies or web series
instead
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 of their projects during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working hours.
This
Linking Words
 could
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the company's revenue as their targets are not being achieved.
Hence
Linking Words
, there should be a proper mechanism
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 supervising the employees. The above paragraphs clearly
mentions
Correct subject-verb agreement
mention
show examples
 the advantages and disadvantages of the
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
 way of working. In conclusion, it could be
mentionned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
 that
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 has some negative aspects but
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 are still avoidable by taking some extra efforts
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the positive
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 clearly
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 the
other
Correct word choice
negative
show examples
side
Check wording
ones
show examples
.

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structure
Use clearer topic sentences. Each paragraph should have one main idea with a simple example.
language
Fix grammar and spelling mistakes to make the read easy. Use shorter sentences.
evidence
Add only facts you can trust or say they are examples. Make links to evidence more careful.
cohesion
Improve flow with linking words like 'first', 'then', 'also', 'but', 'so' to guide readers.
structure
Make sure the introduction states the issue and your view and the conclusion repeats it.
structure
Clear plan: intro, body, and conclusion are present.
content
Shows balance by discussing both sides.
evidence
Uses some evidence to back points.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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