IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People are surrounded by many kinds of advertising, which can influence their life. Is it a positive or negative trend?

There is no denying the fact that advertising agencies expanded with
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
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 of the world.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
this
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 type of media has positive impacts on the public's lives. There is
also
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 an argument
opposes
Correct pronoun usage
that opposes
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 it.
This
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 essay will discuss the positive and negative influences of
this
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 trend. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, the promotion methods are spreading widely nowadays.
In other words
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, they have a direct connection with the people's brains, habits and ideas.
In addition
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, the local and global companies were focused on the new generations throughout their
campaing
Correct your spelling
campaign
.
Subsequently
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, the impacts on the individuals are heavily dependent
of
Change preposition
on
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 the content of these means.
Therefore
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, these actions have the pros and cons on the individuals,
such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 improving their knowledge and culture and providing them with any updates
of
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 products and advanced instruments.
On the other hand
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, some profitable institutions
are used
Wrong verb form
use
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 some ideas in their programs
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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led
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to
devastate
Replace the word
devastating
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 our values and ethics. Thence, the governments and authorities undoubtedly shoulder a vital responsibility for their citizens,
by
Change preposition
in
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 various ways.
For instance
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, formulate strict polices, observe these
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 and
imposing
Wrong verb form
impose
show examples
 fines against the violators to protect the community's minds.
For example
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, some statistics reveal that about 85% of young adults in South Asia and the USA
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were influenced by
unuseful
Correct word choice
useless
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 items
due to
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 strong initiatives
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
made by the international associations. In conclusion,
this
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 issue plays a crucial role in forming our society, and it has
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 disadvantages.
However
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, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Thus
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, we should be
carefully
Replace the word
careful
show examples
 with
this
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 trend.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. State your view in the intro and tell what you will talk about.
structure
Have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph. Keep to one main idea in each body paragraph.
language
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, however, and so. Make the flow from one idea to the next.
content
Give a real example that is easy to see and fits the point you make.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling, and use the same tense and form in a sentence.
content
The essay looks at both sides and gives a view at the end.
structure
There is a closing line that repeats the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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