Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is argued that video games played on the internet by young people increase violence and crime rates in some countries. I,

however

Linking Words

, fully disagree with

this

Linking Words

notion because there are other contributing factors

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as the background of the child and the movies they watch. The background of children involved in criminal activities affects their actions. Children raised in love know how to treat others well. A study in Zimbabwe revealed that most violent youths are either raised by abusive parents or come from broken homes. To them, fighting is normal and a form of communication.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some young people spend time watching gruesome movies on applications

such

Linking Words

as Netflix and

Youtube

Use the right word

YouTube

show examples

This

Linking Words

affects their actions when in public

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

some tend to copy characters they watch.

This

Linking Words

is why most of the films have age restrictions

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

however

Linking Words

, are not followed by most individuals.

For instance

Linking Words

, it has been found that during lunch time at school, some students mimic violent characters

such

Linking Words

as John Cena when playing.

This

Linking Words

results in pupils getting hurt. In conclusion, I

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

fully disagree with the notion that playing video games online is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

contributing factor to

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

crime rate and violence. The way a person is raised at home and

television

Correct article usage

the television

show examples

films they watch are some of the fueling factors to

such

Linking Words

behaviour.

Dec 5, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

State your own view clear in the first paragraph and keep it through the essay.

Task Response

Explain each main idea in more detail and use clear, real examples to back them up.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use link words to show how ideas go from one to the next.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use clear paragraphs: a short intro, 2 or 3 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.

Task Response

Make each example fit the point you make and avoid hints that are not tied to it.

General

Check grammar and spelling so words are easy to read.

Stance

The essay shows a clear stand against the idea.

Structure

An intro and a conclusion are present.

Coherence

Some use of linking words.

Content

Some examples are used to back points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

220 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.
It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with a high wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more important than salary.
8
band
A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a spurce of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?
These days, many economies around the world rely on the tourism industry. However, this reliance can have several negative effects if governments fail to manage it effectively. Despite the drawbacks of tourism, I believe that its benefits outweigh its disadvantages.
7.5
band
In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?
In my opinion, an egalitarian society is one in which everyone has the same rights and the same opportunities. I completely agree that people can achieve more in this kind of society. Education is an important factor with regard to personal success in life. I believe that all children should have access to free schooling, and higher education should be either free or affordable for all those who chose to pursue a university degree. In a society without free schooling or affordable higher education, only children and young adults from wealthier families would have access to the best learning opportunities, and they would therefore be better prepared for the job market. This kind of inequality would ensure the success of some but harm the prospects of others.
6
band
Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?
Food is one of the major things that people need to survive. Although few kids choose healthy food prepared by the school canteen, some still prefer junk food. In this essay, I will state the reasons for both choices.
6
band
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)
Some people believe that plenty of money is the key to living a happy life, which might be due to the privilege that such amount of money can offer. Although, wealth is not the only factor that leads to happiness, family ties are one of the reasons to be happy.

Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a spurce of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?

Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)